Last week, Memorial Day marked the official start of the summer. And that's always something to be celebrated; the beginning of a season with warm weather, long days at the beach and nights by the bonfire. Everyone is just a little bit more relaxed and carefree. Sometimes, though, summer marks the start of something else--being home from school, graduation, or looking for a job.
This summer will be bittersweet for me. My best friend is moving away this month, almost completely across the country. I’m sure a lot of people who are graduating are facing a similar situation; knowing that soon they will no longer be able to see their closest friends on a regular basis. It's an odd predicament to be in, and in some ways dealing with a friend moving away is similar to dealing with a break-up. While I still have my friend with me, and I will be cherishing every time we see each other until the big move, I can’t help but think of all the ways I will miss them when they are so far from me.
You Have a Spot
When you're in a relationship, you may have a place that you always go to for dinner. Maybe every Friday night you get ice cream at the same place. The same rules are somewhat applied when you're with your best friend. Like "Friends" have Central Perk, you probably have a spot. It's hard to imagine Rachel Green bringing a new group of friends to the coffee shop, and it's hard to picture going to “your spot” without your friends. And while it's certainly not wrong, something about bringing a different person or group to “your spot” just seems out of place.
Music
Nothing can bring back a memory like a song. When you spend a lot of time with someone, there is likely a song you hear that means a lot to you because it reminds you of that person. With your friends, there may be a song you played often in the car or heard at a party that you all liked and somehow became “your song.” While you didn’t write the song or have any legal ownership of it, it somehow just becomes something of an anthem for your group (e.g. my group has “Hotline Bling”). So like a breakup, when you hear “your song” without “your person/people,” it's likely to bring back a lot of memories and emotions.
Interests
In a relationship, you may have a show that you’re both really into. You wait until the other person is with you before you move on to the next episode, and spend a lot of time in between chatting about your most loved (and hated) characters, and coming up with your own weird fan theories. This happens with friends too. And after your friend moves away, you’ll be faced with having to watch these shows by yourself. You might even make references to these shows that other people don’t get. And it's going to feel very strange.
The Way You Talk
When you’re with a certain group of people for a long time, you have inside jokes. In some cases, like when you’re with your best friend, this can get to the point where you almost have your own language. So when your friend is away, you’ll be tempted to make these jokes and use these terms but you can’t because you’re not with them. And, again, it's going to feel weird.
So if you are like me and have to deal with your friend or group of friends being away, you have my sympathies. I certainly don’t look forward to when my best friend leaves me. I’ll miss her incredibly. But now I guess I’ll just have to call her on her cell phone--or wait for that hotline bling.
