This winter marks seven years since I lost my mom. She passed away when I was 12 and these past few years have proven to be rather difficult, but they also have shown me how strong I am of a woman. While nothing has been the same since I lost my mom, I have learned an array of lessons from her even without her physically being here and I thought I might share some of them with you.

You learn to put others before yourself.

When you lose an important person in your life you begin to understand that not everything is about you. You know that people can be gone in the blink of an eye so it becomes easier to make sure that those you care about know that they're cared for. This could be something as simple as going to their favorite restaurant rather than yours, but those little moments build up and other people do notice the effort.

You learn who your true friends are.

I'm going to be very honest and say that when your parent dies everyone wants to be your friend. I'm not saying that's a bad thing by any means, but it is a little irritating when someone you have never really spoken to tries to be your best friend for three months and then decides to disappear once the summer rolls around and doesn't have to see you everyday.

There was a friend of mine that my mom was always very fond of. She always treated her like her own daughter and growing up I remember doing everything with her. The day my mom passed, I called my school and asked to speak to this friend because I knew that she was someone I could talk to. I am still extremely grateful for this friendship and the fact that my mom saw something so bright in this girl from first grade.

Thank you, Brooke.

You learn to not take any shit.

I was very quiet at school before I lost my mom and until I transferred schools my sophomore year I still stayed pretty quiet, but I think that's just because I felt like that's where I belonged because that's how people had grown to see me. However, once I was in a place no one knew me I really opened up and I didn't put up with anything I didn't see fit. Life is much too short to spend time gossiping and spreading rumors and subtweeting so you might as well put a stop to it and talk to them face to face. Mama didn't raise no punk.

You learn that family has it's own definition to each individual.

If you were to sit six people down in a room and ask them to explain their family to you, a lot, if not all, of them would be different. Family isn't always blood, but sometimes it is. I know that there are certain people in my life, some of them blood and some of them not, that my mom would be so happy that I associate myself with because they are amazing humans inside and out. Blood is thicker than water, but that also makes it harder to swim sometimes.

You learn that life is hard, but it's not hard forever.

As I grow older, it becomes easier for me to talk to people about my mom and that's not because it's less hard to go about my day to day life without her, but it does become something you live with. I know that my mom wouldn't be happy with me if she saw that I was spending my days in sorrow when I could spend them hiking or writing or doing something else that I love. So while it's still hard and it is a constant struggle, you have to keep telling yourself that beautiful things are happening all around you and you can't deny yourself the opportunity to see and be a part of those things.

You learn to appreciate the little things.

I'm excitable and people tell me that all the time, but I'll let you in on a little secret life is too short to not be excited! There is so much joy that comes from being excited that it is something everyone should do more often. I have written about this before but here I am writing about it again, because you should live your life excited. Get excited about a good cup of coffee. Get excited about your favorite TV show kicking off your least favorite character. Get excited about Harry Styles posting a selfie. I could keep going, but I think you get the point.

Things definitely aren't the same without her around, but I know that she's looking out for me and that's enough to get me by. Life might be hard sometimes, my friends, but you gotta keep going because there's always new music and new coffee.