“As one door closes, another one opens.”

We’ve all likely heard this age-old saying a million times. It’s a comforting statement to any who have felt misfortune or who have lost an opportunity, and frequently given as advice from loved ones attempting to console. However, I believe that for many, it has become more of a formality than anything with real meaning. We don’t think about the truth of it.

As one door closes:

This is the part I think we all get a little caught up in. We focused on the closure. Humans are so obsessed with closure. We think we can’t move on until everything is finished, complete. The reality behind this is that we don’t like to move on. Moving on means tackling something new and the potential to feel emotions we’ve never felt before. The unknown scares us more than anything we know and hate.

I am not innocent of this thinking. There have been many times when I’ve lingered on something and felt the security of my comfort zone, whether it be a toxic state of mind or something stunting my growth as an individual. I’ve always been shy, and I’ve always hated making new friends, simply for the fact that it forces me to step out of my comfort zone. Being outside of my protective bubble was scary, so I never stepped across that threshold. Likewise, when I lost my shot at a leadership position to a friend during my senior year of high school, I couldn’t let it go. I was bitter and vindictive, because I didn’t want to move past it and face a new situation, a new doorway.

This is because it’s so easy to linger on the closing door. It’s easy to stand in that doorway, to keep the door from shutting completely, to keep us from being locked out of what we know. It’s easy to stay with the things, people, and emotions you know and love, or at least are comfortable around.

Another one opens:

It is hard to choose the open door. It is hard to stop thinking about the closing door and just force yourself to step out into the unknown. It’s hard to change your scenery, let alone your mindset.

But it is so rewarding.

When you leave what you know and love behind, you have all the potential in the world to create anything you want and be anyone you want. It’s truly freeing once you finally step through the open door.

I never tried to step out of my comfort zone because I never thought I was someone who could step out of her comfort zone. I loved my friends and I loved the activities I did and I loved the easy, yet predictable, life I led. I could count on knowing how to do all my school work and knowing I would be section leader in band and knowing I could sit with the same friends while we ate lunch every day. Things were easy and I was happy with it, and even when my negative mentality took over in certain situations, at least I knew what to expect.

But with the end of high school, I knew that door was closing. I took a leap of faith and found myself at an open door. My open door led to an entirely new world: an out-of-state college, a new set of friends, new activities, new opportunities to learn, and most definitely a new worldview.

I made the choice to leave the town where I grew up. I know that some part of me will always love Wheeling, even with all the times I said it was boring. Some part of me will always feel comfortable walking around the lakes in Oglebay Park. And that’s okay.

I made the choice to leave the close friends I had. The friends I had by the end of my senior year of high school meant more to me than anything else in the world. I wouldn’t have traded them for anything. But I knew I needed the chance to grow without them standing beside me, holding my hand through the process. I knew we all needed the chance to experience life on our own, even if it meant leaving each other to walk different paths. And that’s okay.

I made the choice to dedicate my time differently. In high school, I was exactly what you would call a band geek. I spent as much time as I could in the music department, I joined multiple music ensembles, I picked up instruments and learned them just for the fun of it. On the worst of days, simply entering the band room could make me feel better, like a security blanket made of the sounds of chromatic scales and lyrical etudes. As much as I loved music, I knew it couldn’t be my everything anymore. I chose not to be a music major. I chose to allot my time differently in college, and already I’ve found that it’s opened so many doors for new opportunities. I’ll always want to play my clarinet, but it’s not the only thing that should matter to me. And that’s okay.

There were so many doorways that I was letting myself linger in as I rode out the end of high school. It’s almost a relief to know that I let those doors close and found myself at these new open ones. There’s much to be learned from letting yourself discover a new place, meet new people, try new things, and be a new you. Even just a week after finally seeing what the other side of the open door held for me, already I can feel the difference. I don’t know why I waited so long.

As one door closes, another one opens. For me, I found the truth of this statement in that I never appreciated the fullness of it. Closure was what I needed and wanted and wouldn’t let go. Openness and beginnings were what terrified me. This is so true for so many people who can’t leave what they love, who want to stick with what they know. If you are one of these people, I encourage you to let go of whatever you are holding on to. Let yourself grow and change and tackle whatever new opportunity is ahead. Because when you leave what you love behind, all you do is make room for a brighter future. It’s up to you to choose the open door.