“I feel like a mom.”
Why is it that every time someone needs help, the girl who steps up and takes responsibility is categorized as a mom? Everything that is kind and caring seems to be associated with being motherly. They are taking responsibility, which apparently now makes them a mom. But why? This viewpoint is skewed.
If you pick up toothpaste for your friend at Walgreens because they are out, you are automatically a mom.
If you hold someone’s hair as they get sick, you are a mom.
If you bring someone soup when they aren’t feeling well, you are a mom.
If someone reminds you to set an alarm so you don’t forget to make it to that early meeting tomorrow morning, they are a mom.
If you take someone home who is too drunk on a night that you chose not to drink too much, you are seen as a mom.
If you give someone grandiose and wise advice about boys, or life, or careers, or grades, or anything mature, you are a mom.
You are not observant. You are not just happy to help. You are not just trying to make someone else’s life easier. You are not trying to do a simple favor. You are being a mom.
So what is it about the word mom that attaches connotations of responsibility, wisdom, maturity, aid, and respect? Why is it that instead of waking up the next morning thinking to yourself, I hope so and so is okay, she had a rough night, you gravitate towards thinking you acted like her mom?
It makes little sense that in such a transformative modern day, when we are constantly bombarded with messages of gender equality and the push of educating each other about what feminism truly means, that we still uphold such a close-minded stance on gendered roles.
When guys help other guys, they don’t blurt out, “Wow I feel like your dad.” Why is there a layer of sexism in the act of responsibility with our friends? If being a mom makes someone a loyal and gracious friend, then I hope we are all moms. I hope if being called a mom makes someone the best kind of person in the room, we can all be moms. And, perhaps, if you are weirded out by being called a mom, stop associating this parental term with loyal friendship. Start thanking your friends for their actions, and stop associating them with sexist terms when they do a thankless act. Let’s leave the term “mom” with those who raise and form us, not those who hold our hair.
