I know this may sound odd, but there are good things that come from trauma. There are people out there that need to be shown that trauma sucks and is horrific, but there are positive things that can come from it.

When you learn about the trauma that a person has gone through, you can understand them on a more personal level. You understand why they do things a certain way. You understand where their anger, love, comfort, kindness, depression, etc. comes from. You find out why they are the way they are. It is enlightening. Although, it may not feel like it at the time you are finding out.

This trauma will always be a part of us and life, and we will never be able to forget it. We can’t define ourselves by trauma though, we are still significant individuals. However, sometimes we don’t even realize trauma has happened to us until something triggers the memory and then you go through it all over again.

Trauma can be several things; it can be a loss of a loved one, physical or sexual assault, domestic violence, a car accident, an illness and of course many more tragic incidents.There are so many different types of trauma that some people are unfortunate enough to have experienced more than one.

Personally, I have experienced mental, emotional and physical trauma throughout my life. All of it has been terrible but it has made me grow as an individual. It has made me grow into a better person or at least I would like to think so. It has given me sympathy and empathy for others that have experienced trauma, even if theirs was different from my own personal trauma. It has enlightened me as a person, and in a way, has helped me become more of a positive person within all the darkness life can bring us.

During a time of trauma, you find the people that you can count on. They show you love and support in the midst of coping and processing what you are going through. Whoever those people are, they matter. Hold onto them because you will need them. They’re your rock, your support system. They are probably the reason you are going to be ok and make it through this tragic experience, whatever it may be.

Trauma is awful, but if you can try to stay positive you will discover all the positives that can come out of it. And live a healthier life. It may be hard to stay positive all the time but if you are surrounded by positive people it helps.

I remember when my grandpa died, it was unexpected to the entire family since he was only 60-years-old. We were all shocked and overwhelmed over his death. Afterwards, my grandmother had another heart attack. While she was in the hospital, everyone else had to answer the phones and door, and plan the funeral and wake. Every once in awhile we would just break down and cry. Whenever that happened we would just hug one another and then move on to whatever we were doing. We tried talking about him and all the great things he did and how great of a man he was but then we would laugh and cry. It was one of the biggest roller coaster of emotions I had ever been on.

At 15-years-old, I was the only person that stepped up and wrote and read his eulogy at the funeral. I knew exactly what to talk about and what to say in front of a packed church. I was up there making jokes and talking about how he was there for everyone in his life. I told people what they wanted to hear; what they needed to hear. His death was extremely hard on the whole family, his friends and his co-workers. And it still is. Holidays and family get-togethers have never been the same since he passed away.

However, our family is closer than ever. We still have all those great memories. Sure, we still fight and disagree but we all still love on another and deeply miss my grandpa. We can talk about things that we probably never could before. We can share our feelings, maybe not all the time but it is a start. This has been the biggest trauma for our family.

That brings me to the types of trauma: personal and group trauma. I may be wrong and there may be more. But I have experienced both kinds. Group trauma is the kind of trauma when someone dies or is in an accident with people in the vehicle. And personal trauma, something that only happened to you. Either way trauma is trauma.

I want to leave you with a quote from the show Grey's Anatomy: “It doesn’t matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up. But, maybe, that’s the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through that is what keeps us moving forward. It’s what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up.”