when you should meet a guy's parents

5 Reasons I Don't Want To Meet Your Mother

If we met on Tinder, you're a one night stand and that's okay.

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If we met on Tinder, I don't want to meet your mother. If I sneak into your house while she's still sleeping, I don't want to meet your mother. If you have severe commitment issues, I don't want to meet your mother. Clingy? Don't want to meet your mother.

The moral of the story is that dating today sucks. Figuring out what we are or not knowing how to introduce you to my friends sucks. The show, "How I Met Your Mother" covers up almost every kind of "relationship", so here is my spin-off to you about how I don't want to meet your mother.

1. Call me Robin.

Dating in 2018 sucks, and I don't want to play games. The more "levels" of dating there are, the less I want to try. Much like the show, "How I Met Your Mother", I feel the same way Robin does about dating. It doesn't need to be so complicated, and if it is, I'll be the first to run. I'm not saying clingy is great, or even wanted, but I definitely don't want to lie to my friends about where I am all the time.

2. I will not be the Lily to your Marshall.

Just because I don't want to keep you a secret doesn't mean I want to get married and have our families be weirdly close. Being in your 20's means you're at that weird age where some of your friends are getting married, some are partying every night, and some are probably in jail. I like to think I'm a nice mix of the three.

3. Who gets to be Barney?

If you're sleeping around or seeing other people, don't expect me to be at home waiting for you. If you want to play games, you should probably know I don't lose. I don't know why guys have this idea in their head that they can do whatever they want, but when a girl does the same thing, it's wrong. We don't have to define anything or talk about what we are, but that also means you don't get to be concerned with what (or who) I'm doing.

4. No mystery mother here.

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https://www.flickr.com/photos/117398717@N06/13563189224/in/photolist-mEwTC5-9F7GwE-5WzMHD-nHASxL-dRLcHb-8Fo4Rf-dr7sn6-9ZXCWK-SSR8ie-mxXxRx-7X3mRe-9hQBUs-Sn3Zcu-bBg4Ee-5Xem5T-h11jbe-8yD6Zq-9gXV1X-9ken8U-cMMm3w-ckG8Bb-Huu9a9-nXGViU-nVbikS-c6Y7WS-aoYd97-aVB3W2-bBdpMr-9wbmXk-k6rpzs-GK3jTJ-9QqTSw-g4PTV4-dAeYAu-bMPFKF-8L6Pyh-h3HjPr-JEFd1X-e1RDoD-dUkDEj-7CiNXD-mm3uMt-c6K9iw-dLA2Ek-mHnTsz-ekELpa-9JQsph-61ZkEx-7JwC2F-jKfQnB

Everyone likes a good rom-com, but you won't find that here. This won't be a crazy story to tell our future children, or a funny story we will later laugh about. As long as we're on the same page about the disaster this will turn out to be, I am okay with it. Like I said though, we need to be on the same page. Don't treat me like your girlfriend to ignore my texts and lie about what you're doing later on. Don't invite me to your family events or hangout with your parents. If we're going to act like we barely know each other when we're at the same party with the same friends, don't hit me up before midnight.

5. There is no yellow umbrella.

You'll probably think about me when this is over. You'll wonder where I am or who I'm with, but those are things you no longer get to know the answers to. If you can't be upfront and honest, this doesn't need to be a thing. I'm okay with being your one night stand, as long as you know you're my one night stand too. There will be no double standards or different expectations based on our sex (no pun intended). Just know that if you can't handle the storm, you better bring an umbrella.

As long as we are on the same page of what we're doing, there's no need to have to DTR (define the relationship), but if you switch up on me and act more than what we initially agreed to be, things are going to get rocky. So lets be upfront with each other from the beginning on what we want to happen. Meeting parents kind of sucks, and the less I need to meet the better.

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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A Letter To The Moms In My Life

The urban dictionary provides plenty of definitions for what a mother is.

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The urban dictionary provides plenty of definitions for what a mother is like: "the best person on earth because she raised you to be who you are and probably loves you no matter what" or "the most amazing, strong, loving, and heroic woman you will ever know."

To my mother, I want to thank you for raising me to be independent, self-sufficient and driven.

Because of you, I am so much stronger than I ever imagined.

To my boyfriend's mother, I want to thank you for being the mother to the man I love.

Because of you, I have a kind, generous man to take care of me and cherish me. I have a second motherly figure in addition to my own to rely on.

To my grandma, I want to thank you for being a rock for me, and our whole family.

Because of you, our family is seemingly capable of anything. You are so loving and supportive and it has a lasting effect on everyone you meet.

I never knew how blessed I was to have the women in my life until I moved away to college and now that I know, I can't repay them enough. There's no way I would be who I am today without the influence of the incredible women in my life.

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