Recently I have witnessed hurt in many different ways. Through my experiences of watching hurting loved ones, experiencing hurt myself and sadly even causing others hurt, I've learned so much. Hurt is all around our broken world and in this piece I'm sharing my heart in a letter to those who have been hurt by someone.
Somebody hurt you. You were not loved well and you were treated unjustly.
You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not unlovable.
You didn’t do anything to deserve the pain they caused you… it’s not your fault.
It's OK (honorable, even) to cry. Take time to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to feel the pain.
No matter how big or small the offense may seem to the world around you, if it’s hurting your heart and matters to you, it matters.
Let healing be natural… take all the time you need… don’t rush yourself!
Once you’ve cried, rested and truly allowed yourself to feel, lift up your eyes. Get up! Don’t let your hurt turn to bitterness. Do not stay in a place of hurting forever.
Your time to “get up” from your hurt will be different from other people. The time it takes will depend on how you were hurt and also on how you were made. You’ll know it’s the time to lift up your head when you begin to feel that your hurt is turning to bitterness, pity and unforgiveness.
You have a calling and purpose for your life no one else can fulfill. You’ve got things to do! Allow your experience of hurt to catapult you into a new season. You have learned and overcome much. It is entirely possible to let your heartache turn to good.
As you’re being the overcomer that you are, shine brightly and be yourself. Don’t allow fear to linger from your past. Trust and have faith that the patterns of pain you've experienced will not continue.
Let revenge fall by the wayside… it’s not yours to pursue! Remember the person who hurt you is a person too. There is a world of hurts and hardships being faced by the one who hurt you. Finding even the slightest bit of empathy for what they’re going through will help to set you free.
Speaking of being set free leads to the most important part of this piece: forgiveness. You must choose to forgive if you want the chains of your hurt, bitterness and offense to be broken. Forgiveness does not mean everything is forgotten. Forgiveness is not even for the person who hurt you. It doesn’t do them any favors. Forgiveness is for you. Even if you don’t extend forgiveness, the one who brought you pain can move on whether you're still offended or not. Forgiveness is a choice... the best choice. Forgiveness can happen in many different ways. The degree of pain you were caused and the safety you feel will determine whether or not pursuing a relationship with the one who hurt you is a possibility. In its simplest form, forgiving looks like intentionally changing your attitude of offense, surrendering your negative feelings and wishing the other person well.
Set yourself free from hurting by allowing yourself to feel the pain and not staying in it. Choose to overcome, and choose forgiveness. You are going to make it, and you are worthy of love.
We often forget to explore what happens when we cause another hurt. Keep an eye out for the second part of this piece: "When You've Hurt Somebody."
