Relationships are complicated. Over the years, we have invented different "stages" of relationships. There's the 'talking' stage where two people text night and day and sometimes walk with each other to class (those teenagers sure are funny right?). They might even hang out outside of school. Woah. Then there's the 'pretty much dating' stage. This is where two people act like a couple but don't want to "put a label on it" (this never works by the way). I have been through both of these types of relationships, and I will tell you firsthand that they will bring you nothing but heartache and misery.
Everyone has high hopes when they meet potential girlfriend/boyfriend material. However, sometimes our feelings can get in the way of the red flags that are right in front of our noses. Usually, we just look the other way because we think they can change or that one day things will be different. But they won't be. You can't force someone to have feelings that you want them to have. I promise it will be much harder to continue the "relationship" hoping that the person's feelings will change than it is to just tear off the bandaid and let go. I lived that life for over a year, and it was the most miserable time of my life.
Moving on is hard, like really, REALLY hard. But I did it. And so can you. I found myself making new friends and good memories. I replaced all the tears with laughs and the pain with joy. Eventually, I found myself falling for someone. I thought I was undeserving of love, and that I would be forever alone with 5000 cats (I think we all do at some point.) But that all changed when I began dating my current boyfriend. He turned my tainted perception of love into something genuine and simple in a time when it was complex and unstable. He showed me what it is like when somebody loves you.
When somebody loves you, they care about your wellbeing. They want to know how you're feeling. They inquire about your day. A person that is truly in love with you wants to know all about you- your past, your friends and family, your beliefs and opinions. They are genuinely interested in knowing every little thing that makes you, you. Don't settle for someone who doesn't ask the personal questions. Those people are superficial and do not sincerely value you. The right person makes you a priority and is more in love with your soul than your appearance. Remember that.
Find someone who respects you. Fall for someone who regards your boundaries and your limits- someone that calls you at 2pm not 2am. Anyone who wants to be with you long-term will never force you into doing anything you don't want to do, go anywhere you don't want to go, or be anything you don't want to be.They will love you for you and never desire your discomfort or that you change.
Only deem someone worthy of your affections if they are proud to be with you. This person will hold your hand in public and introduce you to their family. Not only will they be proud to be with you, they will be proud of you. They will celebrate your accomplishments, and be there for all the little moments in-between. A person that loves you is your number one fan and believes in you when no one else does and supports you when no one else will.
Moral of the story is: only fall in love with someone that is infatuated with every little detail that makes you who you are. Anyone who puts you down, uses you, or tells you you are anything less than perfect is not The One. Keep searching, and be patient, and I promise you will find somebody who loves you (or maybe they will find you!).
