This summer, I reluctantly abandoned the college lifestyle and returned to my place of birth. Although I have been spending the majority of my time lying on the couch eating pretzels, I have actually stepped out into the public on a few occasions. It sounds harmless, but going out into the world is risky. Why, you ask? It’s because I may run into someone I know, or, God forbid, might be expected to talk to.
Running into people from my adolescence puts me in an emotionally vulnerable place, because those people knew me when I wore Hollister t-shirts and caked my eyelids with pink, glittery eye shadow every day, so you can imagine why revisiting my past is less than ideal. These encounters can vary, from harmless former classmates to complicated ex-boyfriends, but the painful conversation begins the same way every time.
The acquaintance asks how you’ve been, usually in a tone that actually implies indifference instead of genuine curiosity. You respond with a drawn-out “gooood” and reciprocate the meaningless question. Then you ask each other how school is going. If you were going to tell the truth, you would say that you stay up most nights crying from stress and have developed a coffee addiction as a coping mechanism, but you fall back on the safety of “good.” Any discussion beyond that is uncharted and likely awkward territory.
One of the worst settings for these encounters is the gym. Dragging yourself out of bed and trying to do something productive should go unpunished, but this isn’t always the case. You’re already tired and sweaty when suddenly, you spot a familiar face. First, you vow to avoid eye contact. When that fails, you hope the subtle nod of acknowledgement will suffice. But before you know it, you are actually exchanging words out loud with this person. You want them to think that you have gotten hotter since high school, but the beads of sweat pooling around your face don’t help your case. You hope this person assumes you’re at the gym because you’re cute and fit, not because you average a row of Oreos per day and need to compensate somehow. The only solace in this situation is that you have your workout as an excuse to wrap things up.
The grocery store is a popular setting as well. If you see the other person before he or she sees you, you can scurry into a different aisle and hide for a few minutes. However, if you are walking toward each other in the same aisle, it’s far too late. If you’re like me, this always happens when your cart is filled with various baked goods, while your foe is buying fresh produce and whey protein. At least your appearance is probably more acceptable than it was at the gym. The two of you begin with the standard script, but knowing how and when to end the interaction is difficult. Grocery shopping is not typically an urgent matter, so one of you will have to think of a clever excuse as to why you are in a hurry.
Restaurants are another possibility. Somehow, it always happens on a Saturday, when you are eating with your grandparents and the other person is with friends or on a date. Hopefully, you only pass this individual while being seated and a simple “Hello” does the trick, but if you are seated near each other, random eye contact will likely occur while you are stuffing your face with bread in an attempt to fill some emotional void in your life.
Returning home opens the door for numerous socially demanding and emotionally taxing situations like the ones I discussed, but it’s part of life. So when you inevitably do run into that guy from third grade math class, just remember to laugh it off. The tension was probably mutual, and you are now free to retreat to your bubble of comfort on the couch with your pretzels.
