It’s 3:15PM. I’ve got to be at work in an hour and forty-five minutes; I won’t be done before the article submission deadline; and I never asked for an extension, so now is the only time for me to write. But there’s nothing for me to write about. It all seems so insignificant when compared to the heart that’s lying in halves on the floor. I’m still in bed. I’ve spent a solid half-hour just letting anger and sadness simmer. My eyes are puffy and my nose is running. I’ve got a long night ahead of me.

So, what should I write about?

I take a deep breath. Old wounds are being ripped open by a brand new blade, and it hurts so much more because the first wound still hadn’t totally healed. In fact, it was festering. That’s my fault; I haven’t been taking care of it. But does it really have to hurt so much? Or am I making a big deal out of nothing?

There’s a certain amount of pain that a person can withstand. That threshold plummets when the area is already bruised from past beatings. But perhaps there is something you can do to bring yourself back to a place of comfort. Sometimes, it helps to speak directly to yourself, the you that is terrified of getting hurt again. And all you have to say is,

1. “This is a different situation.”

Sure, it feels the same. The same feelings are rushing back; there is terror that the old demons are returning for you and the valley will be inescapable this time. But whatever hurt you before has passed, and this is a new scenario. There are new people, new places, new emotions, new variables in play. And there’s a new you. You are older, stronger, smarter, and better equipped to handle whatever it is you’re going through. This is not the same thing that hurt you before, and this thing is not hurting the same you.

2. “You’re still alive, aren’t you?”

The fact that you’re sitting here reading this (and that I’m sitting here writing it) proves that whatever hurt you before wasn’t too much for you. It may have seemed like there was no way out of it, but here you are - older, stronger, smarter, and better equipped. And alive, somehow. Your threshold is not less than whatever is coming against you.

Yes, I only have two things. I don’t have a list of “ten things that you should know about XY and Z.” I’m not perfect. But these statements are powerful enough to help me, so perhaps they’ll provide you some help as well.

It’s not easy. Some struggles are perennial. Most struggles are perennial. But they’re not better than you.