A loved ones passing is never forgettable. You get so caught up in your faith, hoping that there might be a chance for them to survive. You forget that death will happen and when it's their time, it will be their time. You think someone is going to get better, but then you get a call from the doctor saying to gather up all your family. You still think it isn't real. You think there's a chance that it might be a misunderstanding.

You have to stay home because you know you're fragile.

You get a phone call from a relative saying that they passed away.

You're alone, the whole world seems to be falling apart all of a sudden. You punch walls, throw things all over the place. You yell, you cry, and suddenly have so much hatred inside.

Your stomach is tight, your heartbeat is fast, you have that lump in your throat, you're speechless. "Why, God, why?" You say out loud. "No this isn't real, it can't be possible."

You immediately create a fake world for yourself and are trapped inside that bubble. The next day you pretend that nothing happened, you go out and get a lot of hugs and grieve, however you have no idea why. You're lost. You wake up dizzy with a headache and remember that someone passed.

You block out the pain for a while. You attend a wake and see the corpse. You cry, but not yet with any expression, there's no life inside of you, you're numb.

You're at the funeral, it still feels like a dream. Black? Black clothing everywhere, that's depressing.

You see your family cry, day after day. You think to yourself, "stop crying people."

You still feel like your loved one is next to you, the memories keep rewinding, so that little fake world still holds together.

Months pass. You start realizing that things feel weird. You have dreams, nightmares, and wake up with terrible panic attacks. You have no idea why.

You start to get flashbacks of the day that changed your life, that day that turned you into a realist. The day that made you realize, happiness and life ends somewhere.

You forget what your loved one looked like. Wow. Things are so different. You start remembering their laugh, their voice.

Your fake world finally collapsed and your eyes open up. You realize they are not coming back. Your hope is gone.

Now you feel like you're a corpse with no meaning to yourself. They're not coming back. You don't feel their angel next to you. You talk to them but they never talk back to you. You beg them to help you, you beg them to laugh at your jokes, talk to you, hug you. But no, they're gone.

You look around and wonder why everyone is so happy. Now you're the one who is going through grief, months pass and everyone has their lives back together; except you. Now you're falling apart. You just keep replaying the scenario and listening to the voice on the phone saying, "he's gone." He's gone. What? No.

Your depression and anxiety come back and hit you harder than ever. You sweat at night. You avoid the places that your loved one was at all the time. You throw away all of their belongings. You can't have it near you, because you will melt.

You're just going crazy now. You feel like you are. You still can't accept the fact that they're gone, but trust yourself, faith, and God that they are always right next to you even if you don't feel like they are.

It hurts to accept that people will come in and out of your life. As you read this, you start to feel nauseous and can't accept that it's true. I still can't. Life sucks, losing someone sucks. No one dodges death or life.