It is so easy to come to college and drift away from you who really are, and sure, it is easy to find new friends, maybe ones you would have never talked to in high school. It is easy to make choices and decisions that direct your actions into things you may have never experienced before. All of this is easy to do, and when it comes so easily, it is also easy to lose sight of who you are.
You come to college, you are completely immersed in a different culture. There are immensely different people surrounding you living their own independent lives. It is part of our human nature to crave acceptance. We as humans, and in my case, as a young woman, want to feel as if we are part of something, that we are not alone. So we go, we do, we live. Sometimes the choices and actions that are involved in that living will lead you to a place you do not want to be in. You will make choices you hate yourself for. The drive to feel as though you are part of "it" will drive you away from yourself. However, you cannot fully live if you get lost along the way.
The feeling of losing a sense of yourself is scary. Sometimes you look in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back at you. Sometimes you make decisions and don't even hear the little voice in your head that tells you not to. Growing up I was always told, “You made your bed, now you have to lie in it". When you lose yourself, the bed is not comfortable, you will have a hard time sleeping and dreams will be more like nightmares. There comes a time in everyone's life where the exploration of the countless possibilities in this world are more strongly desired than the comfort of your own bed. Some of those experiences are positive, allowing you to grow as an individual. The times where they seem more like nightmares will allow you to make a choice. To either stay where you are and hold on for the ride, or to go find yourself again.
I am sure you have been told that your choices do not define you, but they do. Your choices define you inwardly, as you shape the person you are becoming. Only you know how you are affected by your decisions. People cannot look at you and see your mistakes unless you allow them to. It may take some time to believe that, but it is the truth. Know that when you feel lost, there is always a way back. You have your friends, brothers, sisters and parents that will help you find the right path to take. When you are broken and lost, I hope you choose to find yourself again.
