Who are you?

Why are you like that?

You are 19-years-old, how do you not know who you are by now?

Why do you support that?

What defines you as a person?

Get yourself together, and figure out who you are.

But really, who are you??

These are some of the questions that someone who is struggling with self-identity asks themselves. They are also questions that society asks us and expects a full and complete answer.

As if not knowing exactly who you are isn’t enough stress, the pressure put on us by society and ourselves isn’t helping. The journey of finding yourself is one of the hardest, scariest, emotional, and rewarding experiences that I’ve ever been on, and am still on. Finding yourself is a solo journey, although you might get some help along the way, but nobody can tell you who you are or who you are not. A lot of the times, the people who know exactly who they are and have never struggled with self-identity, expect everyone to be the same. Sometimes they think that because it was an easy road for them that it’s like that for everyone else. They don’t understand. They don’t understand how we feel or what we are experiencing. I used to think that I knew exactly who I was and exactly why I was that way. And then all of a sudden I didn’t.

I actually had no fucking clue.

At a time in my life where change is the one thing that remained consistent, everyone kept telling me to never forget who I am. During college orientation, the weekend leaders preached for us to “Just be ourselves” and to “stay true to who you are.” My family told me to “not lose myself in the freedoms of college.” How does one stay true to who they are and not lose themselves when they aren’t even sure who they are?

Here are a few quotes that I believe are very important to remember while finding your true self:

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” (E. E. Cummings)

“Don’t let others define you. You define yourself.” (Ginni Rometty)

“You've got to find yourself first. Everything else'll follow.” (Charles de Lint)

“Whatever it takes to find the real you, don't be daunted if the rest of the world looks on in shock.” (Stephen Richards)

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” (Aristotle)

Today, people judge you for being who you are. People will hate you for standing up for what you believe in. People will try to make you into something that you’re not -- into someone that suits them better. People label you, no matter if the label is true or not. It is an often occurrence that people will hide who they truly are to be accepted by society. Staying the path, no matter how many detours it has, takes strength and courage, and a lot of guts. Sure, you will probably lose some friends along the way, get into some arguments, and have a couple mental breakdowns, but in the end, knowing who you are, is so worth it. Just keep strong and power through.