I’m the first one to admit that I hate confrontation with a passion. If I could avoid conflict at all costs, I would, but sometimes that’s just not possible.
I’ve recently been going through a rough patch with my girlfriend. It’s not that we don’t love each other or someone cheated. It’s nothing like that. It’s actually, in a way, much more complicated.
I think it’s that we love each other TOO MUCH. That we’re scared shitless of losing each other. I am WAY MORE OPEN about my fears of losing her. She’ll never admit that she’s scared because she knows I’ll always have her back even if we break up. But I know I’m more important to her than she’ll ever admit. I know this because she is the most stubborn woman I know, but also super sweet.
Considering our personalities are pretty opposite, we get along really well. That is until we try to find things we both enjoy doing. I’m cool with watching movies and cuddling all day, but she sometimes likes going out and hanging with friends. There has to be this happy medium that we can come to, but we have yet to find it. I have fun with her pretty much no matter what we’re doing. As long as I get to spend time with her, I am a happy camper. I don’t always show that I’m enjoying myself, which is a fault of mine, but I guarantee you I am thinking about how happy she makes me and how cute she is. I’m always trying to enjoy every second I have with her because I know sometimes people are temporary. I don’t want to look back and wish I’d paid more attention when we were together.
So when it seems all you do is argue, remember these things:
Every couple has arguments. Some people are really good at faking having perfect relationships, but at the end of the day, they still argue sometimes with their partner. We are all different, it’s unnatural not to argue sometimes.
Look into their eyes. If you look at the person you have loved for years, months, weeks (etc.) and can’t find a reason to stay, fucking leave. If looking into their eyes no longer makes you feel safe and comforted, leave. If you feel like you don’t know them anymore, leave. If you think about how you no longer love them, leave. If they look at you and you can’t see even the slightest glimmer in their eyes, leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Because this is when you know there’s nothing left to fight for, your relationship is over.
I can honestly say if I’m ever arguing with my girlfriend and I look into her eyes, I’m immediately grounded, and I can’t help but think about how I can’t lose her. Those damn beautiful hazel eyes get me every time. I can’t stay mad at her, no matter how hard I try. Because at the end of the day, she is worth everything to me.
I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I am willing to go to hell and back to keep that girl. We’re not going to be perfect. It’s not reality. I think what makes she and I such a strong couple is that we aren’t afraid to fight. Sure, it’s not the most pleasurable thing ever, and sometimes there are misunderstandings and hurt feelings, but we are honest.
We know that we need to be open about our feelings if we are going to stay together. We know that this relationship isn’t going to be easy, but we haven’t found this amount of happiness in any other relationship or person. We know that there are going to be days where we just need a break from each other because life can be overwhelming. But we also know that we are there for one another. I know that I could call her at 4am crying and she’d answer and care.
I know this because I woke her up at 10pm with a FaceTime video and she didn’t get mad. I didn’t even need anything, I just wanted to talk. I woke her up and she said it was fine and that it was a good way to wake up. We continued to talk for two hours because that’s just how we are. We’re best friends and girlfriends. It’s become our norm. We’d be lost if one of us ever decided to walk away. I know I will never close my door on her. She’ll always be welcome in my life.
Remind yourself why you loved them in the first place. Maybe it’s the way their smile lights up your world. Or how their laugh will always put you in a better mood. Or how they rub your back until you fall asleep. Or how your stomach gets butterflies any time they glance over at you. Or how your heart skips faster when they kiss you. Or how right their fingers feel intertwined with yours. Maybe it’s how they can make you feel okay no matter what is going on in your life. It’s how they comfort you and make you feel like you’re at home.
I can almost guarantee these steps will either help you realize it’s worth the arguments or not. If you’re not reminded of just how important this person is to you, it’s time for a change. I know my girlfriend is worth every fight, every tear, every smile, every disappointment, every lonely night she’s not lying next to me. I will fight with that girl if it means we can work us out. I will fight for her until there’s no fight left in me. I will always remind her just how much she means to me because it’s vital and so important to my own happiness. Her happiness is my happiness. I could be wrong, but I’ve been told that’s what love is. Obviously, love is so much more than that…
It’s loving and caring about someone despite the highs and lows you face. It’s always being their shoulder to cry on, even if you’re breaking down too. It’s being there through the fights and knowing that they’re worth every second. Because at the end of the day, love wins.