When I was in high school, I liked this guy for almost three years, with no results. We'd dated for about half a year, then he broke up with me, and I guess I'd never really got over him. Meanwhile, he dated several of my friends and we attempted to stay best friends through all that.
It pretty much sucked.
Unrequited feelings are torturous. They make you question everything good and bad about yourself, what on earth it is that you're doing wrong, and can result in endless comparisons between yourself and whoever ended up with the apple of your eye. Basically, big or medium-sized (let's discount the small ones because usually they don't really involve the object of interest, ironically enough), unrequited feelings are tough.
People always say that it's heartbreaking to watch someone you love fall in love with someone else — and obviously, all situations suck, but I think there's something to be said about unrequited feelings that are just...unrequited.
It's a lot easier to move on when the object of your unreturned affections has clearly done so. Then you're practically forced to distance yourself, to face reality, to let go. In fact, I would argue it's far worse when that person appears to be just head-scratchingly not interested in you. And I don't mean this in an egoistic sense, like "Why wouldn't he/she like me?" I mean when the kind of rationale seems to be "He's not attracted to me" or "She's not really my type" or, the worst of all, "She said she's not really interested in a relationship right now."
I don't contest that these are valid reasons. I think we've all been in those positions. But they're incredibly difficult to resolve with yourself when you're on the receiving end of those reasons.
The thing with watching the subject of your unrequited feelings just go about his/her business being normal, being not in a relationship, is it's hard to quash that stupid, tiny little bud of hope that keeps springing up. It's that dumb chirpy corner of your brain that says "But what if..." at the most inopportune moments and just won't let you let go.
I think such cases prove that hope does indeed breed eternal misery.
I suppose at this point I should offer some kernel of insight or some sort of advice.
I never have any idea what I'm doing, but I feel like if you really want to get closure and move on, you have to go out there and know for sure. You have to go and get shot down or something, face to face. Make that person say it. Out loud. Twilight style (don't judge me, please).
When my last boyfriend broke up with me (over Skype!), I wouldn't let him off the hook until he said the words. I knew I needed that so I could have that conversation in my head and resolve the situation, that broken up was exactly what we were.
Go and get shot down. Then pick yourself back up and hopefully you'll have better luck next time! Someone out there is attracted to you, is your type, and does want to be in a relationship.
