Confidence is something that everyone I have ever talked to has struggled with. It is what everyone wants to be, but cannot, for the life of them, consistently exude it. When we grow up, people tell us what we can and cannot do. As we listen to other's ideas of what we are capable of, our confidence drops. Obviously, if you are raised in a home where you are regularly told that you are worthless, you are going to feel worthless and act in kind. Similarly, if you are raised in a home where you are frequently told that you are amazing and that you can do anything, you are going to feel extremely confident. External factors do play a part in self confidence, but ultimately, only you have the power to make yourself confident or to tear down your confidence.
Not everyone has the same ideas, however. Everyone is different and has varying opinions about what true confidence is. I decided to figure out just what others believe confidence to be.
"Confidence is moving through the world without anxiety. If you can live in the moment and enjoy yourself, you are confident." - Olivia Bliss
“Confidence is knowing yourself well enough to be able to express it to others.” – Kate Harrison
"[Confidence is] probably just believing in yourself and what you have to offer. Whether it be in the workplace or in life in general. Knowing your worth and not settling for less.” – Jenna Trainor
"I think confidence is when you are comfortable enough to have a genuine conversation with anyone, where you can be serious or silly or say what you feel. Not because you have confidence in your looks or your talents, but because you are a valuable human being and you deserve to live freely.” – Courtney Diane Morgan
Through all of my years of experience as a human and through observing others, I've learned a thing or two about confidence. Arguably the most valuable statement about confidence is that you are not any better than anyone and no one is better than you. I am not discussing specific talents here. Sure, that huge man that can squat 400 pounds is probably better at weightlifting than you. I am talking about your overall self worth. Believe it or not, you have the exact same amount of worth as Beyonce. You also have the same amount of worth as a homeless man on the side of the street.
Confidence is something that comes from within. External factors do not have an effect on true confidence, just like other people cannot really make you confident or make you lack confidence. Eleanor Roosevelt's quote "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" speaks volumes to this. If you are constantly worrying about what others think of you, you are going to feel down about yourself if someone happens to not like something you do. Only you are responsible for your own contentment.
What you choose to believe about yourself has a direct effect on your confidence. If you believe you can't do something, odds are, you aren't going to be able to do it. However, if you believe you can do something, you will probably be able to do it. Buddha said it first, "what you think, you become." If you spend your time thinking about how unappealing you are or how dumb you are, you are far more likely to be unappealing and dumb. If you spend your time praising yourself and thinking that you can do anything you put some effort into, you will be able to accomplish things you never thought you could've. Your mindset is what makes you confident and gives you the drive to accomplish your dreams.
The main similarity between each of the different ideas of confidence is being sure of yourself. You cannot be truly confident and not be sure of yourself or of what you are doing. Self doubt will tear apart your confidence. Walt Disney once said, "When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably." This quote can apply to yourself. Believe in yourself all the way and know that you are capable of anything.
