In the dungeonesque basement of a small house in Bowling Green, a party that was legendary for more reasons than one had taken place. The first reason would be how “lit” me and my friends (squad, as you young ones would classify) were. Not “lit” in terms of intoxication but rather essence. Full of spirit and life as we easily danced the night away; causing the party to not only be functional but worth attending… by all means let me just say we didn’t come to “play” that night however that’s neither here nor there. The second and pivotal reason as to why this night was so epic would be that a phrase from one of my dearest friends was birthed; one that would have such a profound impact on our lives for the semesters to follow.

It’s rather simple; a mantra to be exact. One that has found its way in the comforts of our home as a reminder for motivational matters and it reads, “when you feel that ish’ say that ish’” (and yes, ish’ because I do not condone provocative language, however that too is neither here nor there). Trending in our everyday vocabulary “when you feel that… say that… (As we have abbreviated it) has single handedly transformed the course of my life in regards to communication.

I often consider the amount of times we allow ourselves to prohibit the content we share with others. Inhibitions being the reason why we short-change, not only others but ourselves from experiencing authenticity in our relationships and passion. Think about it, who wants to live a filtered life (when it comes to content), one in which you can’t express the intentions of your heart? Honestly, let’s take a self-assessment here; a little game I’d like to call, “when’s the last time you’ve __________”.

Shall we begin?

When’s the last time you shared your feelings with the ones you love –and how authentic are you with the members of your “circle”? When’s the last time you told a close friend that her/his significant other wasn’t of significance at all? When have you last told your mom that her advice truly isn’t wanted; and how about the last time you mustered up the courage to profess love for your significant other, rather than talk your best friend’s ear off with the debates of such?

WHEN, I ASK, WHEN?

And if you found yourself stumbling over any of these answers my follow up question would be, why? Why haven’t you taken the time to be honest regarding your opinion of your friends decisions, why haven’t you told your mother to drive passenger alongside of you in guidance rather than for you in a spirit of control… and most importantly why haven’t you looked that man/woman in the face to tell them not only do you love them but how fortunate you are to have them in your world? As “dramatic”/ “corny”/ “extreme” and whatever synonym you’d use to describe such a concept, I’m convinced that as a culture we suppress too much, too often.

Too fearful of what the individual on the receiving end may think or feel, we allow ourselves to turn our content down, when in all reality it deserves to be on full blast. Truth is people respect authenticity far more than their “expectations” of what someone should be. People enjoy knowing the location of someone’s heart rather than spending time attempting to settle within their assumptions, and people will always love the idea of a guarantee; for trust is still alive and well as a founding factor of all relationships. So do yourself this solid favor, and strive for honestly –the type that is embedded in love and pure intentions of course. Begin with yourself and allow it to trickle into your endeavors with others; and as a result I guarantee you’ll experience a more fruitful and passionate life. Full of emotion and assurance; for when we open our hearts to share truth such will be reciprocated; so by all means “when you feel that … say that”.