Our lives revolve around relationships, whether with our families, friends, or significant others, and they all have a huge impact on our lives. But at what point do our relationships with others go too far and travel into a very terrible and dangerous place?
Michelle Carter, a 17-year-old girl from Fairhaven, Massachusetts, was charged with involuntary manslaughter after convincing her boyfriend to kill himself. This is a perfect example of how much people can have an impact on those they love or those who love them.
Life is crazy, and we want people to be there to support us, love us, and lead us into the right direction, but how do you get out of relationships that are unhealthy and abusive like Carter's?
From experiences, and not very good ones, I've learned a lot about what to look for in friends and significant others that are red flags that everyone should avoid:
People who want to control everything about your life
A relationship is about two people working together to become better while still having their own passions, time for themselves, and their own identity. So if you are with a person who wants you to only do what they say, when they say it, I'd take a moment to really evaluate your relationship and decide if it really is making you a better person.
In the case of Michelle Carter and her boyfriend, she wanted to control his life so much she made a devastating impact on him that she can never take back, and it had a lot to do with wanting to control someone other than herself.
They make you feel bad about your past
If your significant other does this you need to run, and run now. You do not deserve someone who judges you because of your past, especially since you cannot change your past. You need to find someone who accepts it and loves you for it. Because hey, without that past you might not have found them.
They make you doubt every decision you make
Relationships can be amazing, but when you find someone who hurts your self-esteem instead of helping it, you really need to question how healthy your relationship is. You deserve someone who makes you feel spectacular about yourself!
This was also one of the problems in Carter's relationship. Her boyfriend had low self-esteem and was pushed to believe that his life wasn't worth living.
They make you settle for what you don't deserve
I know what it is like to love someone who is bad, but I also know what it is like to love someone who treats me like a princess. I am lucky enough to have someone who makes me a better person. Who lets me be the strong independent woman I am without wanting to change me, and who loves me for all that I am; the good and the bad. I am so happy to be with him and even though I have had bad relationships in the past, he shows me every day why I'm thankful for them because they led me to him.
You deserve to be treated like the princess/prince you are, and I hope that no matter where life takes you and with whom, you always remember that you deserve the world.
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” --Maya Angelou
