Every day can be a struggle for spoonies, but the holidays bring an added amount of difficulty.

Between the colder weather, the busier schedules, the excitement and the stress, the social gatherings, family visits, and trying to be "normal" through it all... it can seem impossible to try to keep up.

We keep up in our own ways, though, and we enjoy it in our own ways, too.

But bear this in mind when you see us celebrating: you don't know everything going on.

You may be tempted to judge, especially if you're visiting and don't see us throughout more of life. You may think, "She's smiling, she must be fine." Or, if you're around us more regularly, you may think, "She posted pictures of activities; she's obviously not debilitated or in that much pain."

But there is so much you don't see.

For example, I traveled to Pennsylvania with my family for Thanksgiving. I posted a few pictures on social media, and I'll admit, they seem "normal," but here's what you don't see in them:

You don't see me collapsing from exhaustion just from packing my suitcase.

You don't see the anxiety attack I have just 20 miles from home over going away and the pain I'm in.

You don't see me lying down across the back seat covered in essential oils in order to try to make it through the car trip.

You don't see me trying to be social but needing to retreat back to quiet isolation far too quickly for my preference.

You don't see me venturing out just in time to mash the potatoes when I really wanted to help with all the cooking.

You don't see me leaving the dinner table early because the stimulation is making me start seizing.

You don't see the way the temperatures are reeking havoc on my body.

You don't see the pain family members' lack of understanding about my illness causes.

You don't see my disappointment about my body.

But I hope you see me trying.

And if you're in a similar spot, I hope you know I see you trying.

Even if I don't actually know you, I can imagine.

You smiled through the pain for that picture. You look lovely.

You came out of your room to socialize a little. You can do it!

You're giving your best this holiday season. I'm so proud of you.

Don't be afraid to celebrate the way you need to. Do what you can, and give yourself grace.

And this holiday season, if you're around your spoonie friends or family members, please don't assume they're feeling well just because they're trying, and please don't be angry when they need to step back and rest, too.

We're all doing our best to be present and to smile through the pain.