I think we can all say, with some certainty, that 2016 was weird. In fact, I’m not entirely convinced that this hasn’t been the greatest prank every pulled.
I’m waiting for some guy I’ve never met to jump out of my closet with a handheld camera and tell me that I was just faked out, that Trump isn’t really President and that all the artists that got snubbed for the Grammy’s this year really got the nominations they deserve.
But I, like Kramer, yearn. I yearn.
In the effort of trying to make 2017 not suck, I think we should go over what we learned this year so that we don’t make the same mistakes over again.
We learned that Jon Stewart is still alive. Bearded, but alive. Thank God.
We learned that man-made climate change skepticism is still around, for some reason. Denying all fact or reason or logic or FACT, people still don’t believe that man-made climate change is real. And we are in the process of learning that these psychos are quickly filling up spots in the Trump White House.
We learned that we’d rather have a discussion about the meaning of Beyoncé’s Super Bowl halftime performance that talk about the NFL’s trigger-happy suppression stemming from the office of their tyrant, Roger Goodell.
We learned that, despite 49 dead and 53 wounded, we’d rather just sit around with our hands up our assess than try and do anything to prevent violence and save lives.
We learned that, despite it being common sense that someone on the no-fly list who’d been investigated by the FBI multiple times shouldn’t be allowed to buy a firearm, someone on the no-fly list who’s been investigated by the FBI multiple times can actually buy a firearm.
Who knew. Not me.
We learned that European populism is just has effective in the United States as it is in Europe. We learned that faith in government is so low, that people will gravitate toward a screeching pastry if it means new digs and a middle finger to the establishment. Damn kids.
We learned that the rich and powerful can get away with advocating for and admitting to sexual assault, and go on to become the freaking President.
We learned that the Republican stratagem of holding up government and then complaining about it not working, actually works with voters.
We learned that Donald Trump plans to govern entirely by use of Twitter.
We learned that Liberals have a stick so far up their own ass, they can’t understand that snubbing the rural vote may be a bad idea. Now, we’ve learned this, but the left still hasn’t.
But there is hope. History doesn’t have to repeat itself. Time doesn’t have to be a flat circle. Understanding what we’ve learned can help us not have such a trashhole year in 2017.
I yearn.
