If your first semester as a freshman is everything you could've dreamed of, I envy you. For me, this is not the case.

I walked into my freshman year confident that Bethel was going to be home. It was everything I could've hoped for from a college: small and intimate. I practically begged my parents to let me come to Bethel, but now I’ve said that I don't think it's the place for me.

After months of trying to convince myself that Bethel would eventually work out, I lost hope. I questioned my every move, why wasn't it working out?, Why wasn't I connecting with anyone?, why was I being called away?

They say your first semester of freshman year is the “hardest.” They were not kidding. Usually, before your freshman year you get the typical college run down like you'll be loaded with homework, you may gain a couple pounds, college food will make you wish you were more grateful for a home cooked meals. College is looked upon as this amazing stepping stone in life that'll be the best years of your life.

No one told me that I would be in so much pain in the first semester of my freshman year.

They left out the part on how hard it would be to connect with others. For the past couple months, I've grabbed ahold of whoever is around me, and have stuck with them. While trying to branch out, I've found it hard to intrude on already made “groups” of friends.

This has left me lonely, so I return home on the weekends, dreading Monday's arrival.

It came to a point where I realized I was sacrificing my happiness, so I pulled up my laptop and I started the application process over again for next semester.

If anyone is in the same boat as me, here is my advice to all of you struggling freshman: Go to the school of your dreams. If that is Bethel, go. It's an amazing school, yet it didn't turn out to be for me but I will hold it dear to my heart. Be open and honest with yourself on what you truly want, make changes and wait it out. Remember God has a plan for you, and trust in him that He'll lead you where you'll need to be.