It is nothing less than obvious that feeling hurt after a break up is to be expected. It is common sense that you'll be sad, maybe cry a bit, and surely miss your ex's presence in your life. But no one tells you the tiniest little things that will really hit home. No one prepares you for how you'll have to make a conscious effort throughout every hour of the day to fight the natural urge to text them or call them to tell them the high and low points of your day. No one tells you that deleting old pictures together feels like deleting memories.
No one prepares you for the gut-wrenching feeling you get when you see pictures of them out, happy without you. No one mentions that you'll wonder where they are or what they're doing an average of 258394 times per day.
Not a single person will explain that you may be perfectly fine one second, but once you come across something small that triggers your memory of them, you'll break down.You'll tell yourself that you shouldn't care or don't care, and you may even do a pretty good job of convincing yourself this is true, but you know deep down that it is not.
You'll try to back track the relationship in your head to find out where things went wrong. When remembering the relationship, you'll tend to only remember the positive aspects and neglect to recognize the negative. You'll beat yourself up about things that shouldn't have happened or fights that shouldn't have taken place. You'll be mad; at your ex, at yourself, at the world. You will question why you still have feelings, and find your own way of coping with the whole situation.
But what they do tell you, what you can without a doubt expect, is that things will eventually get better with time. You'll stop crying, stop blaming yourself, and realize that it just probably wasn't meant to be. You will realize that a relationship cannot possibly survive when the love isn't being reciprocated. You will recognize the signs that proved your relationship was toxic. Your thoughts will no longer revolve around them and you'll be free to live your life the way you're supposed to.
You'll learn to love yourself again and will possibly even want to thank your ex for being your first love and sharing numerous memories and experiences with you. I myself am not quite there yet, but knowing that that day looms on the horizon gives me hope and relief, knowing that everything will be okay.
