Every week since I've joined Odyssey, I've asked myself the same question, why am I doing this?
And it's true that I'm here because I enjoy growing and sometimes even enjoy writing, I wonder if this is a good use of my time. There are people who write daily, have written books, who are so much better than me. There are non-writers who use the time I spend writing these articles studying and bettering their grades and their futures.
So why am I here?
Is creativity even a talent or skill that needs to be acquired for those like me, not an English or Communications major?
As someone interested in politics, I am still so fully aware that no one truly wants my repetitive opinions on the topic.
Am I only here as some kind of form of productive procrastination? Is this a break or a chore? Is this merely a way to fill an unoccupied mind or a constant attempt to tame and harness my roaming and running mind valid?
Is being creative a privilege? But then again isn't studying? Isn't everything I do a gift in the eyes of history, evolution, in the eyes of God?
Is writing a new but different form of vanity? In a world of social media, is this a quest for performance in my life? Do I hope for some kind of minute fame or am I truly posting out of necessity and in some ways to hold myself accountable to turn in something every week?
Or am I here merely because I don't quit. I accept mediocrity and consistency as opposed to a brief success but eventual failure?
Or am I here to show things about myself? To tell as much of my story as I think will help others or at least make them smile?
I am here almost 10 months into not knowing why I do this. But maybe that's the point. Maybe I should do it because every once in a while I write something good. And I owe it to myself to not quit until I do a good job a few more times.
One day I will be able to still my running mind for a second to calm the criticisms that stop me from writing anything new, and write something I am proud of.
So I'll be back next week. And I'll keep trying.
