Everyone has different ways that they express themselves, and for many people It’s art or music.
Well, I can’t do either of those things very well.
Ever since I was a little kid, I liked writing. To me, it’s the most efficient way of communicating what’s on my heart. Through the years, no matter what emotions I was feeling, writing was my art.
I have more poorly-written, angsty poetry than I’m willing to admit, but, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Recently, my medium for writing has been through Odyssey. I’m not going to pretend like I had some sort of tenured career or longstanding engagement with Odyssey, but I do want to share the story behind why I started writing articles and why this will be my last piece.
In September of 2016, my best friend was killed in a head-on car crash. Everyone handles death differently, but for me what followed was months of depression. This started taking its toll on school, sports and my relationships. I failed almost all of my classes that semester, and I’m lucky to still be enrolled at Corban. As far as soccer is concerned, I felt disconnected from the team that I consider my family, and my progress as an athlete had screeched to a halt. My relationships suffered during this time as well; a lot of bridges were burned and I learned what a true friend looked like.
All in all, I felt like a failure at life.
I felt a need to create again. I hadn’t written anything in months.
And that’s when Odyssey fell in my lap.
Something about writing for an audience of my peers seemed exhilarating. I’m not a very vocal person, so the idea of writing down my thoughts and exposing them to the world had serious fear attached to it. At the urging of one of my good friends, I applied and started to write for Odyssey.
At the time, I had so many holes to fill in my heart, and I was lucky enough to have Odyssey to help me rebuild my self-worth. Even though I didn’t get many page views or shares, the words of encouragement and responses from my friends and family were crucial to building back my confidence.
Lately when I sit down to write more articles, it doesn’t come naturally like it did in the beginning. Now, I understand that writer's block isn’t real and as an author, you must work to be creative, but the point of me writing wasn’t for any extrinsic purposes, rather it was to fulfill intrinsic needs.
As of right now, those needs have been met.
I feel incredibly confident and valuable in who I am, and a key to that was my time spent writing.
And so, after almost 1,500 views across four short articles, I’m excited to find new ways to seek my value.
