We pass through some days that can just flat-out kick our ass. Something simply goes awry. You woke up too late because you set your alarm for 7 o’clock p.m., not 7 o’clock a.m. You locked yourself out of the dorm room because you had to remember one extra pencil for the calc exam and in doing so, you forgot your key. One of these things can happen, or what may seem a culmination of everything that day, and we have a bad day. Some of us recover and go on to have a splendid next day, but some of us don’t. We can hardly get out of bed, but that’s how it was yesterday, and that’s probably how it will be tomorrow. Nothing new, life just doesn’t really have any meaning. It sucks and everything else sucks along with it.
Depression sucks. I have a constant fatigue. I hardly get my homework done — I mean that’s if I even work on it. Yes, it’s embarrassing to get substandard grades or perform poorly on tests and quizzes, but not embarrassing enough to do something about it. Rarely do I get truly excited for things I probably should. I feel lonely even when I’m in a room overflowing with people. Sad most all the time, waiting to go to bed.
I found something beautiful though. Soft, gentle, comforting. Music. Specifically, choral music. What sweeter sound exists? Flowing rhythms that give the feeling of a rushing wind or pouring water. Harmonies and chords you wish you could hold onto for a lifetime. Dynamics and other masterfully brilliant ways musicians craft an art you cannot hold in your hand or take in with the eye, but cascades over the ear unlocking feelings and emotions that lay dormant.
I use this music to bring myself to life. It gives something to look forward to in the morning, something to desire, to yearn for. This blessing helps me to continue to move forward when I tell myself I cannot. Music gives me feeling again. I have joy in my heart and a general sense of comfort throughout my body. Sometimes I feel connected to God or some other divine presence when lost with my headphones on. What’s better yet, even when those headphones come off from my ears, the music and that connection doesn’t stop.
Luther College allows me to absorb and create music that has no comparison. The Luther vocal ensembles produce sounds that radiate with exceptional magnificence. No lack of beauty is present in any of our ensembles. Our choir composed of first-years craft wonderful music that inspires and charms. Our top ensemble, Nordic Choir, produces a sound that cannot be matched. I am glad I can only imagine how my life would be different had I not chosen a school with such a profound gift to offer the world.
Pain can be relieved by any number of things; I just believe beauty is the best. Go by yourself to a wood in the summer and feel the sun embrace you with warmth. Visit an art gallery and be astonished by the mix of color and shape on canvas. Admire the gentle features on the face of someone you may admire. Find your beauty, find your comfort. Find something to bring you back to the countless possibilities of the world. I find mine in the melodious sound of music.
