Why do we say "another young life gone too soon" so damn often? Why do we have a "regular reaction" to this? Why do we have to physically feel the loss of a soul leaving earth that had many more years of life left? What did our small town ever do to deserve this? What are you trying to tell us, God? These are questions I ask myself every time this happens — this shouldn't be an "every time" thing, this shouldn't happen so much.
I sit there and I feel horrible for wallowing over the trials and tribulations in my life because I am lucky enough to have one. No matter how dark the days may be, I still see the sun and the clouds every day. I still get to hear my daughter's laugh. I still get to feel the breeze. I still get to yell at the people I love. I still get to take for granted that this is permanent...but it isn't.
I still get to yell and scream; I still get to get mad at people I love. I still get to tell them I hate them and that they piss me off, and I still get to argue with the man who sets my soul on fire and drives me wild because I take for granted that he'll be there to argue with again tomorrow. But what if one day, he's not?
Why do we hold grudges? Why can't we repent, and fix and build? Why do we leave things broken on the floor? We gossip, we insult, and we move on from things we don't want to move on from for the sake of our pride. We are scared to grovel and beg for forgiveness; We're scared to say we're sorry and we're scared to say we're in love.
But as each minute passes, we are closer to the minute we will no longer be able to tell who we love that we love them. I can't put my finger on why this would happen so much to my age demographic, why this is a repetitive process that has occurred time and time again over the span of a few short months. What could God possibly be telling us that he couldn't have just written in the sky? What message is so important to teach that he has to take home our friends?
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness? What could forgiveness possibly have to do with anything? It is everything.
In the Old Testament the word "forgive" is repeated 42 times. Why is forgiveness so important? Why do we think that forgiveness only extends to our tiny mess ups and screw ups? Why do we think that we are not supposed to forgive our brothers for their acts with which inflict pain upon our hearts when Jesus died on the cross so we would be forgiven for our horrible sins?
It is the single most important message in the entire bible, and it is one we so often ignore. We insult people we used to be friends with, and we say we hate the people we loved; We look back at old pictures wishing we could relive those times, but at the same time declaring we never want to speak to these people again — refusing to apologize or forgive.
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in Heaven may forgive you your sins." -Mark 11:25
Stop letting grudges dictate your relationships, stop letting hate trump love, and rebuild. Rebuild marriages that are falling apart at the seams, rebuild friendships and forgive strangers for not holding the door or frowning when they gave you your coffee. Give hugs, ask how they're doing, check up, remind your loved ones every day that you love them. Appreciate the people you have in your life every second of every day, show them and tell them, and allow them to feel your love. Most importantly, never forget to say "I love you."
If you're rolled over on the opposite side of the bed, roll over, and hug them. If you're trying not to say how you feel, say it. Let go of what's unimportant, move forward, and love fully. Love so incredibly full. That person you want to text but you don't because you're so damn stubborn and prideful, fix it while you can. Fix it before it's too late, because one day, it really will be too late.
I don't know why all these precious lives have been taken from us so soon, but I'd like to think that God is up there with them right now and that they are in the complete euphoria of Heaven and he has said to them, "My children from Salisbury, you are home now. I brought you back home because Salisbury needs our help." I need to believe they are looking down and that they are working in our lives, helping God to fix our broken town and teach us to love a little louder today than we did yesterday.
That text you're scared to send, send it. Show up with roses at her doorstep. Call your mom, call your mother-in-law, call the girl you called a bitch, forgive and say sorry. Pick up the phone, and say how much you love them. Tell them you love them, that you love them more than anything in this world because you won't regret forgiving them; You'll only regret not saying what was in your heart when you had the chance.
"You better make it count cause you can't get it back."
This is not a fair world, and I will never understand why a town so small has had to suffer so much heartbreak. I will never understand why my friends, and their friends, and all the other people with years left, are gone. My heart aches for these families.
They were athletes, students, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, family, but most of all they were souls who individually had an impact on my community. They have brought us together in ways we never thought possible; You are missed more than you know
In loving memory of Logan Jones, Logan Moloy, Jack Morris, and Natalie Insley. You were all loved by many and touched our town forever. 2016 is the year that brought us together, and it was because of you. I hope you're all looking down at Salisbury, the same way Salisbury is looking up at you.
