Rejection: the very word conjures up an unpleasant feeling inside me.
While applying to college it was the only thing I was afraid of and to be honest it is the only thing I am afraid of even today.
So even today when I look back to the time I was applying to college, I cannot help but notice the effect this period had on my mental health and on me as a person on the whole.
When I decided I wanted to go to college abroad, I knew I wanted to go to one of the bests.
Naturally, I applied to all the top colleges in the countries I was applying to and went overboard in the number of places I applied to (I mean I would finally go to only one college and not to all twenty-one of them that I applied to!)
The real fear crept in when I was done with all the applications and was waiting to hear back from colleges.
I began to realize that I started panicking more often and was anxious more than ever.
I would snap on people, blame them and curse more than necessary. I would yell and cry often and became impossible to handle!
Soon College acceptances started coming in and while it put me at ease, it also made me more anxious since I had not heard back from my top choice yet.
After, all my acceptances and rejections came in I was a mess. While I should have been happy about going to college, the fact that the outcome did not go according to me left me sore.
The thought that I had been rejected made me sad and angry and frustrated all at the same time.
I turned into a pessimist.
I do not know if it was my mindset or the lousy atmosphere I had decided to be in it made me rude, grumpy and a literal living hell.
While it may all seem horrible and rough it was not all bad.
What seemed to have brought out the worst in me also taught me something important that has made me the person today.
It taught me that everything does not go according to you and that in life you need to face rejections and need to face your fears.
It taught me to look adversity in the eye and to learn from it when I fall and accept my fate and move on.
It taught me a valuable lesson that rejection only makes you stronger and made me realize that the universe doesn't put you in situations that you cannot handle.
It taught me that it was ok to be rejected and that I should embrace me fears and move forward with optimism.