No one wakes up prepared to face the day with a whole full of rejection in the morning. Getting served rejection is not an easy thing, especially if you being alone is your worst fear. As an introvert, I enjoy loneliness when it under my conditions. This means if I've had a full day in the classroom or internship than if someone asks me to do something I am more likely to just want to stay back and recharge. However on a day off with no plans is a bad day waiting to happen. When I am faced with rejection it typically turns into a relapse of clinical loneliness. I feel unwanted and undesired by someone just because I am not on their radar. How selfish is that? Loneliness is not a permanent condition and it stops the moment you decide to longer let your rejection take control of your happiness.
Rejection does not define you.
Psychologist Guy Winch (2013) points out that facing rejection sends signals to the same part of your brain that reflects pain. This way when we are first faced with refection our initial reaction is to feel hurt deeper . Coming from the second handed friend if someone does not pick you or shows any form of rejection first, taking it personally will be your first step to a life of not good enough. Getting yourself into the "not good enough disease" will set you up for more failure in life than the initial rejection you just faced.
Anything that is negative that happens in your life from that moment forward will cause you to ALWAYS see yourself as the one who needs to be fixed to no longer be rejected. You are not the cause fo your rejection. Instead of seeing yourself as having to be more for someone, see yourself grateful for their acquaintance. I have learned its ok to be that friend for someone. Being that person does not define me as an unwanted friend or a bad friend. It means that the friend I need hasn't been placed my life yet. Instead of feeling lonely and sorry for myself I have to take that energy and move it toward something productive.
Re-direct the thoughts tearing you down.
I used to say my "not good enough disease" was not created by my own thoughts, but rather the experiences had with other people that were negatively inputted into me. I think if this visual as an input-output chart form middle school math. The negative experience is the input and the "not good enough disease" is the output. However, you are the one in charge of feeling that way. You have a choice to feel not good enough for being rejected or you have the choice to take your rejection and feed into something positive.
Turning away from loneliness in the face of rejection is your choice. Rejection isn't made to be a burden we carry on our shoulders that we let define our worth as person. We get to deecide what defines our worth. It comes down to, Do you want to feel consumed in your loneliness or take the rejection and turn your loneliness into an oppourtunity to choose happiness?
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