At some point, we all face rejection in various parts of our lives-- romance, friends, career, schools, etc. Sometimes it feels like we live under a never-ending looming threat of everything going wrong. Oftentimes, it feels like we just can’t catch a break.
By the end of my senior year of high school, I was rundown with what felt like the weight of the world in pure rejection. While I was used to much of this disappointment, it had truly begun to feel like there was no remedy. I had lost countless school and extra-curricular elections throughout my middle and high school years.
In one club alone I had lost elections eighteen separate times in a four year period. I lost the election to the highest possible position as well. I found myself so bent out of shape that it often became hard to keep pushing on.
Not to mention, my entire world felt as if it had collapsed when I received my rejection from New York University, my dream school. I try not to talk about it much because it had truly brought my life crashing down around me. Everything I had built for myself seemed so pointless and incomplete.
It seemed to me that I had some sort of tragic curse on me to fail at absolutely everything I did-- and I did a lot! I was the model “involved student”. I spent half of high school playing a sport. I had a job. I was in fourteen extracurriculars and was often times an officer in the club. In fact, I was a Girl Scout National Delegate. I even was heavily involved in my school’s choir, despite not being a great singer. Plus, I wrote (and still write) for a music website. Somehow, I even managed to have a social life and graduate with distinguished honors. However, nothing I did ever seemed quite good enough. I was good… I was great even!
But there was still that keyword-- “enough."
By graduation day, I didn’t particularly feel like I was “glowing”. Many of the pictures that you can find of me from that day are forced smiles and heavily concealed bags under my eyes. All the years of not being able to do anything right really weighed down on me. The problem seemed to extend into my transition of college, where I immediately sought to be involved in just as many activities. I applied to conferences, volunteer opportunities, officer positions, jobs, and so on, but rejection after rejection poured in. It didn’t help that I moved to the most competitive city in the world. One that was known for chewing people up and spitting them up, covered in disappointment.
It wasn’t until I saw my resume that I noticed what would change my entire outlook on life.
Of course, I had seen my resume before, but it could never have been clearer than the beginning of this past semester. I had just gotten over moping in my own self-pity. My friend had tried to comfort me and said something very important. She explained to me that she was jealous of everything I had done. Suddenly, there seemed to be a never-ending list of my accomplishments pouring out of her-- many things of which I hadn’t even considered to be achievements at the time.
Later, I looked at my resume… and this time I truly looked. Suddenly, I saw, as you can imagine from my heavy involvement, a fully packed depiction of who I was.
My greatest insecurity thus became my biggest strength.
What they don’t tell you is that with rejection comes one thing, if you choose to use it, and that is perseverance. When I had been thrown from a horse when I was in middle school, I climbed right back up on it.
I would lose an election and still be on the ballot for the next. I was rejected from my dream school, but snag a ridiculous scholarship offer from the place that I am currently head over heels happy at. I may not have gotten the internship at the news agency I wanted, but a few months ago I was on the guest list for one of my favorite bands and even interviewed them. The list drones on. I keep pushing on even when I feel like everything’s against me.
Before now, I had never realized just how true this was. Of course I was getting rejected left and right, it was just statistics working against me. I give my all to everything I am in, so while it may seem like I’m taking more L’s than everyone else, I’m really just living more than everyone else. I put myself out there for better or worse.
As soon as I realized this, I started seeing rejection dissipate in my life. I can’t say for sure if I’m getting rejected less, but I can say that it doesn’t matter as much. Each punch isn’t as hard as the last. Most importantly, though, I’m recognizing the wins in my life more than the failures. Last week, I was elected as the Alpha Lambda Delta First Year Honors Society President. I was selected to attend a housing conference. Things around me are working out.
I may fail, but that does not mean I am a failure. I may face rejection more often than I accepted, but either way I will persevere.
And that, my friends, is why even though I may not be victorious in everything I do, I will succeed in everything I do because at least I have been driven to try when many others can not.
