You have to stop to catch your breath.

We’ve all known that one person, or maybe you are this person. The one that bounces from one short relationship to another almost relationship, to swearing off love forever- only to soon repeat the cycle without catching their breath. Not stopping to catch a breath causes so many people get stuck in a romantic rut. What does “stopping to catch your breath” mean?

It means taking the time to get to know yourself. If you want a solid foundation for the greatest love this world has ever seen, you need to start by building yourself up. If you are actively working on yourself, you will start to develop a stronger sense of self-efficiency, in turn increasing your level of confidence. This ensures that once you do start dating again, it will go far more smoothly. You’ll be able to determine what feels right or what does not early on because you will have a more refined knowledge of yourself.

You may ask yourself “where do I begin?”. You can start by abstaining from all the time you have spent texting people or communicating via social media. If someone wants to talk to you, they can make the effort to see you in person. Face-to-face communication is a more genuine, organic interaction and you will need all the extra time you used to spend texting to devote to working on yourself. Carefully limit yourself to how much time you allow for other people during this phase in your life. It is okay to be a little selfish! Remember who you are doing this for. This will not be easy and will likely be the hardest part for most people. However, the time you give yourself it is extremely rewarding.

Start to discover what your passions in life are and devote your free time to those things. If you love to read, start reading again. If you love to paint, go buy some canvases. Allow yourself to be creative and have fun. If you're passionate about your career, now is the best time to devote more driven focus towards that. You might be surprised as you realize that you can accomplish great things on your own. Whatever your passion may be, it is important for a person to do things. If someone has a low sense of self-worth, it can be greatly improved by their effort towards accomplishing goals. You also need to allow yourself to open up to new experiences and opportunities. If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong. Set some goals for yourself, for what you’d like to see a change after in this time, and once you are happy with the amount you have achieved you can go back to dating whenever you are ready.

Once you love yourself, don’t let anyone change you.

Once you start dating, don’t forget or repress everything you have learned about yourself. If you ever feel like you are having doubts, it is more than ok to take a step back and reassess not only how this person makes you feel, but who you are with them, and if they negatively impact the person you are in any way- it is not worth your time. If you stay with someone like that, while it may be easier to adjust for them in the beginning, after time you will begin to miss that person you worked so hard to become, and you will resent your significant other for it.