Anxiety is hard to live with all on its own. Going on a trip to your dream destination, or just to visit your grandparents only makes it worse. However, I sometimes wonder what the people I'm traveling with see, or think about my anxiety...
Personally, I have a love/hate relationship with traveling. I absolutely love and crave adventure, and going on vacations. However, before I'm where I need to be, it feels like I'm descending into hell. There so much to worry about! What if something goes wrong with my luggage? What about the tickets, what if we don't even get them for some reason? What if we crash? (Not that I worry about that much, I've been flying since I was a baby) What if I get kicked off for some unknown reason? What if I don't even make it through security? Everything I worry about is stuff that I over think. I know that too, everyone else likes to think I don't though. It doesn't matter if I'm traveling with my parents, bf/gf, or anyone else. I'm going to be scared, and worry about everything. JUST TELLING ME TO BREATH DOESN'T HELP. Do people think I don't know how to breath? I mean seriously. It's not that I'm forgetting how to breath, It's that I physically can't. It's not like I want to go into a panic attack, I don't want to disrupt anyone! I do feel bad for those I'm traveling with though..
I had to ask who I've traveled with what it's been like. One said it was "complete hell." I can say I'm sorry but I know that doesn't fix anything. Others said it was simply stressful, and annoying. They find it annoying because everything will workout, but I seem to think of every little thing that could go wrong. Some even say it's nerve racking, it's hard knowing what's going to happen and how to deal with it, or help. Yes, I feel bad. I wish it wasn't like this, I can only do so much though. All I can say to those I've traveled with is that I'm sorry, but thank you. Thank you for sticking with me and helping as much as you can.
There is some good though. When asked what people thought about their experiences traveling with me, they also mentioned some good things. I guess it's a good thing I worry about so much, realistically. Some things are good to worry about, it's kind of like I'm preparing myself for what could realistically happen. Like losing our luggage, that could really happen!! There's not much else that I worry about that could "realistically" happen, but overthinking things is like second nature. As annoying, and shitty as it is to travel with me and my anxiety, every person I'm with says the same thing. They would love to travel with me again, even with all the ugliness that comes with it.
