What It's Like Living With Depression And Anxiety

What It's Like Living With Depression And Anxiety

You can't imagine a world without living like this.
721
views

If you know what exhaustion feels like, multiply that by a hundred and then you've barely scraped the surface of what it really feels like.

It's like living in a cage with the door wide open, with no willing limbs to carry you to freedom. Its panicking about literally everything, but having no motivation or care to do anything about it. It's knowing you have deadlines and work, but your mind won't allow you to settle for a happy medium and get anything done.

Depression is enough on its own to handle. You feel like garbage and can't get out of bed most days. You let your thoughts dictate your vision of yourself and you fade away.

Add anxiety into the mix. It's like becoming the embodiment of chaos itself. Now you're worried about every little thing, constantly turning your head in the panic to new things and avoiding people at all costs, which you already do, but now its a priority.

Because being around people only makes you feel worse about yourself in the sense of how much life and joy and determination they have when you were not gifted with the same basic talents.

You have piles of homework to attend to with deadlines approaching the harbor quickly, but you can't bring yourself to raise your sail and do things on task. Waves upon waves of defeat and trepidation drag you under and it becomes hard to breathe, hard to see.

It's not easy living like this, constantly exhausted by the opposing forces in your head. But the important thing to remember is that it's not all in your head. It is very real. People show as much as they want when it comes to battles like this, but no one can say and fully believe that depression and anxiety doesn't exist, because it exists everywhere and in a more broad audience.

Help is wanted, but sometimes barely achievable in states like this. It's hard to hear us with our silent screams, but we do want help and we do appreciate those that make a effort. You are not forgotten, but sometimes we need more than one checkup.

We need reassurance that our friends and family still love and care for us. No matter how much you want us to open up about it, it rarely happens. So if you just simply know someone who deals with these struggles, let them know that you are there for them, even if they tell you nothing. It's the thought that you aren't alone when you feel most vulnerable that truly counts.

Don't discredit us. Don't pretend to understand when you don't. If you can't comprehend the situation, then just lend a careful ear. It's better to have listened quietly than to have listened ignorantly.

Fighting these battles isn't for the faint of heart. Maybe that's why we fight, because we somehow are strong enough to get through it.


IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW ARE STRUGGLING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND/OR TENDENCIES, REACH OUT IMMEDIATELY. NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS ALONE. SUICIDE IS SERIOUS.

National Suicide Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255 - available 24/7

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia

Popular Right Now

Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
1009291
views

You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

I Never Thought I'd Have To Attend A Classmate's Funeral Two Weeks Before He Was Supposed To Graduate

Teen suicide is a taboo topic where I'm from, even if we have lost two members of the community to it in the past two years.

81
views

One of the hardest experiences of my life happened just this week, at the funeral of a boy I barely even knew. I had gone to school with him since kindergarten but hadn't had a class with him since fifth grade, and I don't think we had talked since then. All I had ever thought of doing with my classmates two weeks before graduation was complaining about finals and maybe going to a few graduation parties.

Instead, we all left school midday to head to the largest Baptist church in town. I sat in the middle of a row of pews, surrounded by two hundred or more people that I had either gone to school with my whole life or had gone to school with at some point in the past thirteen years.

There was not a single one of them that did not have tears in their eyes. We listened to the pastor share memories of our classmate that had been shared online, and some of us even got up to share our own and to thank his parents for raising such a kind and caring, young man.

He was the type of guy to invite you to go out to eat, even if he knew you had to work, just because he didn't want you to feel forgotten about. Every single person who spoke said, "There wasn't a single thing I didn't like about this kid." They spoke those words in full truth.

The senior class was named in the obituary as honorary pallbearers. We followed the eight football players and the rest of the football team and our classmate's closest friends to a hearse waiting outside. I watched as the hearse pulled away, and I believe that is when it truly hit everyone.

He was gone, and he wasn't coming back. As the hearse pulled away, all I could see on the other side were tears streaming down the faces of some of the toughest guys I know.

We called the football team the Thunder House. The phrase "Thunder House" went from something normally said with a smile or a chuckle to something said with a melancholy tone. No one cheered when it was said anymore, they only gave sad nods and tight, depressing smiles.

Teen suicide is a taboo topic where I'm from, even if we have lost two members of the community to it in the past two years. In 2017, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published an article stating that Americans in rural areas are more likely to die by suicide, also stating that suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States.

The week before we lost our classmate, there was a walk at the school on a Saturday to raise awareness for teen suicide and depression. I only heard one teacher say anything about it beforehand. There were no signs around the school. There was no mention of it on the morning announcements. There was not a post on the school's website inviting members of the community to join us.

I truly believe that more could have been done that could have possibly prevented the heartache that has impacted a school, a family, and a community. Reach out to those you feel may be in need, and even those that you do not feel may be in need because you never know what someone is going through.

Articles on suicide prevention or recount stories of suicide or suicidal thoughts should end with the following message, written in regular weight font, styled in italics:

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Related Content

Facebook Comments