I would argue that being a Resident Assistant is one of the most difficult jobs out there. For those that would contest this, just put this into perspective: As an RA you have to balance schoolwork, extra-curricular activities, and a social life with the stresses, paperwork, and responsibilities that come with the job. Don’t get me wrong, it was probably one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had in my life, but it was a lot of work. Here are some things that I learned from my year as an RA.
1. How to be an adult (or at least pretend to be)
My first day of training one of my residents moved in. I didn’t know that I was going to have to RA so quickly, and was very taken aback to see the entirety of his family sitting in the common room. Drenched in rain and looking something akin to a wet cat, I introduced myself to the resident and his family. His mother then spent the next thirty minutes grilling me with every question known to man. “No ma’am, I cannot prevent women from going into your son’s room. No, there’s no curfew.” In my head all I could think was, “Yep I’ve had one day of training I am absolutely qualified to answer these questions.” But then as his mom was leaving, she hugged me, tears in her eyes, and asked me to take care of him.
That’s when the magnitude of what I was about to undertake hit me. I was completely overwhelmed. I can barely take care of myself, how am I supposed to be responsible for other peoples’ lives too? That feeling never truly fades. Throughout the year there were a lot of things that were thrown my way that I never thought I would be able to handle. However, this job allowed me to grow as a human being and do things I never thought I would be capable of. Even though I was merely one year older than my residents, I had to be their adult, and eventually I was relatively proficient at making it seem like I knew what I was (even if I wasn't super sure.) It helped that most of them forgot how old I was, even if I told them 12 or 13 times.
2. How to do paperwork properly
Ah, yes. Paperwork. There was an unending supply of paperwork that needed to be done. In the real world it’s important to get your paperwork done correctly in a timely manner. This job definitely provided me with an opportunity to work with deadlines for paperwork. Though occasionally the quantity of paperwork was less than ideal (like having Health and Safeties during midterm week), I am fortunate to have learned this skill at a young age. Accountability is probably one of the most important things that you will ever learn, and I was certainly held accountable for my portion of work.
3. How to plan programs
Do you know how difficult it is to plan a program that residents will actually want to attend? I can’t tell you how many times I would go up to my residents and say, “HEY FRIENDSHIPS! What are you doing tonight? Ha, don’t you mean coming to my program…?” It is especially difficult when you are trying to plan an educational program, because nobody wants to go to an educational program. This job allowed me to find creative ways to plan and market programs the residents would actually want to go to. One trick was always providing free food. The program on budgeting suddenly becomes more appealing when there is free pizza involved.
The most important part of a program planning was doing programs that you actually enjoy, because they can tell when you don’t. I think my favorite program of the year was a tattoo program we put on as a staff. I reached out to an artist at West Haven Tattoo to come and present on things like tattoo safety and such. We provided a gift certificate to one lucky resident who attended the program and it was really excellent to see that we had a large turnout because we all worked very hard to put it on.
4. Time Management
As an RA you are required to plan programs, do paperwork, do open door hours, and have a required amount of weekends where you are sitting at the desk on duty. This is very time consuming. I was also very involved in my sorority, which added a lot to my schedule between events and committee meetings, and had a 17-credit course load both semesters. I also did the Cabaret, which added rehearsals, and eventually I had to feed myself and sleep, so it certainly wasn’t easy fitting all of this into my schedule. I got myself a planner and made sure to write down everything I had to do for the week on Sunday night.
It took me awhile to master this, and I didn’t necessarily have it completely together. It’s nearly impossible to get homework done on duty. Yes, you’re there for 6ish hours a night, and it seems like you have so much time to do it. Things always come up, though, and so I worked hard to get my homework done early if I knew I was going to be on duty all weekend. I probably ate way more mozzarella sticks than I should have (they’re a proper meal, right?) and slept way less than I should have (I’m pretty sure I went to bed before midnight once), but I got everything that I needed to get done completed, so I’d call it a success. I think that after a year of balancing all of those things, I will never have an issue with time management again.
5. Not everybody is going to like you, and that’s okay
This is especially true after you’ve documented residents for something. The disciplinary side of the job was probably one of my least favorite parts of it. It never prevented me from doing what I was supposed to do, but the fallout after the fact was usually less than ideal. Some residents would take it in stride and recognize the fact that we’re just doing our job. More often than not, though, they would take the documentation as personal victimization and would hate you from then on. I had a particularly difficult resident who simply never liked me because I was his authority figure and he had a problem with authority.
I don’t live in a fairytale world. I know that not everyone on the planet is going to like me (Shia surprise.) However, I really don’t like when people dislike me for no reason, or at least not a good reason. Eventually I just learned that it’s something that comes with the name-tag, and not to take it personally. I won’t apologize for doing my job.
6. How to be a functional human being on no sleep
I’m so used to it now that it’s only in retrospect that I’m able to realize how very little sleep I actually got. I’m not exaggerating when I say I probably went to bed before midnight maybe once. However, because I consistently went to bed late, it never really felt all that strange. I got my paperwork done, I wrote my papers for class, and then I went for a late night run to Denny’s so I could spend time with my friends (who generally were also RAs accustomed to staying up late.) To be fair, most nights you sit at the duty desk until one or two in the morning, so your body has to get used to staying up late. It’s a hard habit to break when you’re home. Since coming home I still haven’t been able to go to sleep early. I even made myself a grilled cheese at midnight because that’s when I was used to eating dinner. I know that next year after going to bed at a normal time I’ll look back at RA Dory and think that she was crazy for staying up that late all of the time.
7. RA is another way to spell Psychologist
Not every RA has the same experience. However, in my experience, I had a lot of residents come to me with their problems. These issues could be from problems with their parents, to a dispute with their best friend or significant other, to inner turmoil that they’ve been facing. It could be that they want to change their major, or they want to transfer schools. Whenever I’d hear a knock on my door I’d think of the wise words of Forrest Gump.” Life is a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re gonna get.”
And boy, did I get it all. But that was probably one of my favorite parts of the job. Yes, it was incredibly stressful knowing that they relied on me, that if I said the wrong thing, something terrible could happen. It also made me feel really great being able to help them. This was why I got the job in the first place. All I wanted to do was help someone. I wanted to know that after an entire year at least one person’s life was better because I was in it.
8. There are some amazing people that you will meet because of Res Life
This section will be a tribute to the people that got me through the long nights. First, to my staff: I am 112 percent sure that I would not have made it out of this job alive without you. Your unwavering support extended beyond the average tasks of being a Resident Assistant. If I ever needed to cry about a bad grade, you were there. If I wanted late night food, you were there. If I wanted to give up, you were with words of encouragement and ice cream. You are my family, and I couldn’t have asked for a better one. If I didn’t thank you personally for all of your hard work, just know that you are the reason that I loved my job this year. Thank you for everything that you’ve done.
I also have to thank all of the friends that I made because of Res Life. I remember the first day of training when we all went to WestSide for food. I didn’t really know any of you, but you were all so easy to get along with. By the end of the day, we had formed a squad, and your friendship and support have never wavered. It’s hard to spend time with anyone when you’re an RA and having friends who understand the difficulties of the job is absolutely invaluable. I was also fortunate enough to meet my current boyfriend, and that wouldn’t have happened if we weren’t RAs. I have Res Life to thank for a lot of the amazing humans in my life.
There are a lot of other things that I learned too, and I could probably go on forever. No, the job wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It was long hours, thankless residents, and enough stress to make you certifiably insane (and I may have a gray hair or two.) Being an RA was also growing as an individual, friendship, and making a difference. Being an RA gave me invaluable experience to take with me into my next jobs, and the opportunity to significantly impact someone’s life. It is bittersweet parting from the position, but at the end of the day, I know…I’ll always have Bixler Hall.
