Four years ago, I left my family in Chicago to move to Pennsylvania and go to ministry school. At first it was easy and I was rarely homesick.

Continually surrounded by friends, I had little time to miss my family. The first year or two of being away from home, I was trying to find myself; I was excited about being on my own and discovering who I was. During this time, visiting home felt different. I felt distant from my family, not because of anything they did, but because I felt different inside. I had grown and changed and I feared that they would not understand me. As good as returning home felt, I would always spend the first few days in tears, because I missed the familiar sights and sounds and missed the closeness with my family that I felt I had lost. That distance I felt caused my heart to ache. I feared that visiting home would always be hard and painful.

As ministry school ended, I had more time to myself and less time with friends to distract me from my emotions and how much I began to miss home. I also went through a lot emotionally and often had no one else to turn to but my family. As a result, I began to trust them more. I soon realized that it did not matter what I believed, they accepted me no matter what. My family showed me the support and acceptance that I was looking for all along. Friends came and went. They supported and accepted me for a time, but things happen and friendships fade, my family never did. They did not judge me for my different beliefs or choices; they continually supported me.

I began to deeply miss my family, more than I ever thought possible. I would try not to think about them too much because if I did I would burst into tears. I missed all the memories I had with them growing up, I missed seeing them all the time. I felt they were all growing up without me and that I was missing so many memories with them. Things had changed, we grew up and got married. Of course, my new life is amazing! I love my husband and all the new memories we are making together, but I also deeply miss all the time I once had with my family. It is hard going from spending every day of your life with your family to only visiting them.

Strangely enough, being away from my family drew me closer to them in a sense; it made me appreciate them more. As painful as crying over missing them was, it also felt good, because I realized how deeply I loved them. Now every time I did visit them, it had meaning; I could no longer take it for granted. Every single moment with them has become precious, a little treasure that I capture and store in my heart forever. This experience has shaped how I see life now, how I see people, how I see my family. Back when I left for ministry school, I had this idea that loving your family was great and all, but it was not a big enough goal. I thought you had to be some great evangelist or missionary and save the world or something. Loving your family seemed too easy, too normal. I realize now that loving your family, appreciating them, enjoying each and every moment with them is the most worthwhile and meaningful thing in life. If all I ever did with my life was enjoy the moments spent with them, it would be a perfect life. I cannot think of anything more meaningful.

I love my family more than anything else in this world. They mean everything to me and I am glad they do. It does not matter what we do together when I am with them, just being around them is more than enough. I began to see my family differently and decided to no longer worry about not being understood or believing differently. None of that mattered anymore, all that mattered was enjoying the moments I had with them. They accept me for who I am and that is more love than most people will give you. Love goes beyond beliefs and the little differences we have.

Thank you to my parents, my siblings, and my nephews for loving and supporting me. There is not one day that I don’t think about you. I regularly cry because I miss you so much, but every time I talk with you and get to visit you, I am beyond excited and overjoyed. You will never bore me or wear me out. Thank you for loving me and accepting me and always having a place for me to come back to. Thank you for always supporting me, even when you may not agree with my choices, you still trust me and back me up. I am thankful for every memory I have made with you and I am excited for the many more.

I realize now how deeply I love all of you, it is more than I ever thought possible.