More likely than not, we all have someone in our lives whom we care about that suffers from a mental illness; whether it’s a bipolar disorder, depression, some form of anxiety or a combination of multiple different mental illnesses. But that should never stop us from loving anyone. Sure, it might make being around them difficult on a particular day, but we all have days when we’re “hard to love.” People with mental illnesses sometimes just need a bit of extra love.
Whether the relationship is platonic, romantic or is involved in a family setting, it can be really hard to watch a loved one suffer from any form of mental illness. Just remember something that I can not reiterate enough: while it might be difficult to watch a loved one go through this and live with something so crippling on a daily basis, imagine just how hard it is for said loved one. They’re the ones that are physically, mentally and emotionally going through it. It isn’t all about you. It’s about them. Just make sure you don’t say things like:
“You don’t realize how hard it is for me.”
“Could you stop being so sad all the time? It’s really bringing me down.”
“I love you, but this is getting out of hand.”
Things like that will really make the person you loved feel as though they are a burden and are unwanted and unloved. And if you truly love them, you don’t want them to ever feel like that, whether it’s by someone else’s hands or words, or your hands or words.
Sometimes, you really want to be there for a loved one when they’re having an extra hard time. And sometimes, you don’t know what you can do for said loved one. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do. The best option is to ask them if there is anything you can do for them. Sometimes, they will tell you something that you can do. Sometimes, all you can do is be a presence and make sure you’re there in the flesh with them, even if it’s just watching movies and going to pick up some take away. And sometimes, all they want and need is to be left alone. And if that’s what they tell you they need, do not take it as a personal attack. Just being around someone can be overwhelming and can make things worse at times, so if they’re having an extra tough time dealing with things, and they ask to be left alone, please respect them enough to leave them alone, without making them feel bad.
Also, some other things that you should never say to a loved one—or anyone, for that matter—with a mental illness are:
“Oh, it’s all in your head.”
“Maybe if you just try being happy you won’t be sad anymore.”
“Stop worrying about things you cannot control.”
What you may not realize, especially when it comes to someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), is that they know they cannot control things. They know they most likely don’t really need to be worrying about said things, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are going to worry about things, and it’s going to take a toll on them; mentally and physically.
In the end, the best thing you can do for a loved one who has a mental illness is to be there for them. To reassure them that you’re there if they need anything. If they want to talk about something that could be bothering them, or if they just want to lounge around and do absolutely nothing. Because a lot of the time, mental illnesses will tell people that they are not loved. That everyone around them is just “putting up with them.” So the best thing, is to just reassure them that you do love them and you’re there for them no matter what.
