You know it's funny that I am writing this right now, because if you had asked me what a blog was before I entered college, I wouldn't have known what to tell you. And frankly I am not one of those people who would typically write a blog. That is, if you are into labels and seeing someone and defining the types of things they would or would not do merely based off of appearances. And let me tell you, I am one of those people.

I am not proud to be one of the people that judges someone based off of just seeing them pass me by, but annoyingly enough I am. I go out with friends in outfits I have no business wearing and see girls in outfits similar to mine and still whisper to my friends how loose they look. Or when I am with my teammates and we joke how manly college softball players are even though we are college softball players. Honestly it's funny to me how we as humans poke fun at others who have the exact same traits as us. I think we do this because we hate it about ourselves, but it's easier to point out others flaws than our own. But I am getting off topic, back to me and the point of writing this blog. I just finished my junior year of college and I feel compelled to tell my story and what little knowledge I have of this world. And for those who don't me, I may seem like a young middle class white girl who is supported by her parents, which I am, but I don't want to be judged merely off of those traits, because honestly thats just a part of who I am. But don't worry, I have still had plenty of issues and problems, and one thing I have learned, is the world does not owe you anything. But if you love it, it will love you back.

A few years back, when I started this journey of college and being on my own for the first time, I decided my goal was to find myself. That I was going to go on this great big adventure, and at the end of it I would know who SARAH was. That I would no longer be defined by my grades in school or my athletic ability or who my parents were. I would figure out exactly who I am and what I wanted to be, away from all the pressure to fit in from high school and the weight of trying to please my parents. And did I figure out who I was? Yes and no. You see, I know who Sarah is, and she is a lot of different things.

The most important thing to me in my life is my faith, and that God is the guiding force in my life. However, I don't always lead a God-centered life, and actually if I am being honest, I rarely do. I constantly think about my own needs and my own wants, instead of thinking about what God wants me to do to glorify him. I attend bible studies and I pray, but could I be a better woman of God? Without a doubt. But you see what I have learned about God is that we each have our own relationship with God, and I can't judge someone else off of their relationship with him, and I don't want them to judge me off of my relationship with him. You see the thing I think me and God have going on is pretty special, because I have this thing called faith. Faith is the coolest thing in the world to me, and I would have to say it's my favorite word in all of the English language. Because I have faith that God is looking out for me and that he has a spot for me in heaven, no matter how much I screw up. I also have faith that God settle's all of the injustices of the world in his own time. So it is true, I am not the perfect Christian girl, not by a long shot, but me and God have this really cool thing together that's between me and Him and it works pretty great.

Also, for the greater part of my life I have been defined by a sport. I have played softball for as long as I can remember and for the most part, I have been lucky enough to be good at it. I started playing when I was eight years old because my dad put me in softball, because I think he just longed for me to have a hobby that I was good at. Softball quickly became the center of my household, and I felt the need to play because it was so important that I did, and I never really understood why. Now I'm not saying that I didn't love the game or love the competition, because softball became something I grew to love and hate all at the same time. However, when I came to high school, and the days came when I was over playing the game, it just seemed like it was some obligation I had to fulfill and I had to put in this insane amount of work to be good at this sport just because. Now my softball story is a long one for a different day, but I am so glad that I play, not only because of the people I have met through the sport, but also the opportunities it has afforded me and the relationship it has allowed me to have with my parents.

Some of the other things that I am is a softball pitcher, a crisis counselor, a student, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an emotional eater, a little bit of a slob, and someone who loves others without reservation. That is probably the biggest thing I have learned about myself over the years is how easily I let myself fall in love with people and their hearts. I don't mean this from a romantic stand point, I mean this from any person I meet scenario. Usually if you are my friend, or someone I care about, I fall deeply in love with you, not romantically, but as a person. I have learned that every single person is insanely unique and have their own little quirks and its quite beautiful. It just goes to show that God really does make everyone in their image. So despite my many fatal flaws, I hope that is one thing that doesn't change about me, that I never stop falling in love with people. They will surprise you, make you smile, make you laugh, and they will even disappoint you and break your heart. But the cool thing is, with every person you bring in to your life, no matter how it turns out, they change you, and that is awesome. Amazing people are the reason I have faith in the first place.

So every week when I post I want to give a little bit of sage advice on something I have figured out over the past few years. And this is just the findings of a 20 year old who doesn't have much experience, but I think I have come to discover a few things which I have been trying to say today. That is that to be merely defined by one adjective is to put yourself in a bubble, and who wants that? It's okay not to know if your straight laced or crazy or clean or messy, you can be all of those things, and that is really awesome. I think I have finally learned to except that I am many things, and the sum of all of my attributes makes me who I am, an imperfect person, just as God designed.