Living with depression is always struggle for those who suffer from it. There are days where you wake up and feel joyful to the day that is ahead of you while other days you lay in bed unable to get up. When you have depression, it doesn't always mean you are sad every day, every minute; every individual experiencing depression is different.
Each day, you always wonder in the back of your mind if your depression episode will start again. You pray that your good mood is not ruined once the depression is triggered. In a depression episode, there's so much stuff going on inside a person's head. You become two people: a conscious side of you and one crazy side planting these wild ideas into your head. It twists everything that you thought was true and creates these lies inside your head. It overwhelms your entire mind and you lash out at the people who are the closest to you.
During the episode, you have to try to pull yourself out of it, to make yourself to feel normal once again. However, it is not that easy because some episodes can last for days while others last for a few hours. During these episodes, you become more depressed than ever. You feel hopeless, worthless, and that you've failed at life. It makes you want to end your life even more.
Give or take a few hours or days, those thoughts will be washed away and you start to feel like a normal person. After enduring numerous depression episodes, you learn how to control it so you don't have them as often.
To all those who suffer, you are not alone and you are not crazy. Someday it will get better and hopefully, someday, it will be all over.
