The group message with all of your friends from home is going off, and you have no desire to answer it. Your friends are all congratulating someone on passing a test, talking about the “wild” party they are attending or gossiping about some girl you went to high school with, and you realize… You don’t care.
These are the girls you promised you would always be close to and even talked about having them in your bridal party; but now, you’re sitting there considering removing yourself from the group message. College-you just doesn’t care about high school-you anymore. You’re not excited to go home over the breaks anymore and see them like you were your freshman year.
When you first went to college, you tried to stay in their lives at first by adding all of their new friends on social media and visiting them as much as possible, but as time goes on, so does your life. Before you know it, some random boy keeps popping up in your friend’s Instagram and next thing you know, that friend is “in love," even though last time you checked, she was still single and crushing on another boy. Another friend suddenly has a whole new group of “BFFs,” and you haven’t heard about any of them. It’s not that you can’t keep up with all that’s happening in their lives, it's that you honestly do not want to.
The rest of the group is still in constant communication, and there you are on the outside. Everyone else is still so connected, yet you feel so distant, and that’s perfectly fine. Removing yourself from the group may result in multiple calls and texts from the others reaching out, or there might be silence from both ends. Break-ups are hard, trust me, we all know that and friendships are no exception.
“It's not you, it's me” is one of the most generic break-up lines, but it's also one of the most honest. Its nothing personal to these girls, they really are great people. In fact, they were the exact people you needed. They’ve helped you become the fabulous person you are now. Maybe the glue that held your friendship together was close distance, or that you were involved in all the same clubs and sports. Distance may make the heart grow fonder in certain situations, but in most cases, it can hinder relationships.
College is all about self-discovery and becoming the person you're meant to be. Unfortunately, sometimes that person doesn't mesh with your high school friends. It truly is bittersweet. There should not be any hard feelings, only a million “thank yous." Thank you for being there when I got dumped; thank you for holding my hair back that time I had too much to drink; thank you for always being the driver and letting me play too much country music; thank you for letting me snuggle in your twin-sized bed. And most importantly, thank you for letting me grow.
