Ever since I was little, I was chubbier. I could have been the Gerber baby, I had so many rolls. As I grew up everyone else’s baby fat started to go away. Mine? Not so much. I always knew that I was heavier than a lot of the girls but when my mom died, I didn't turn to other stress relievers but instead I learned that Mcdonald's helped the pain go away.
I would eat out almost every day and I just didn't care what it was doing to my body. Then freshman year of high school, I met a boy. This boy was special; I knew I was going to date him. We started dating and I gained the dreaded “relationship weight.” (You know, the weight you gain when you get a boyfriend because you have no one to impress anymore.) I completely let myself go. I started high school weighing 145 lbs., and ended it weighing 180. All throughout high school I told myself I needed to start working out and I needed to start eating better, but as the classes got harder, I ate more and more.
I was always that girl saying, “Ugh why am I so fat,” and all of my friends would respond with, “Kayla stop. You’re not.” People who have naturally high metabolisms don’t understand what it is like to eat a salad and still gain weight. Although I may not have been physically obese, I was still mentally overweight. I looked in the mirror and I saw myself twice as big as I actually was. I would sit in front of the mirror and constantly pick out the things I hated about myself. And still, people would tell me, “Kayla you’re not fat, I think you look fine.” What people don’t understand is how can you be okay with how others think you look, when you can’t even be happy with the way you look to yourself.
My advice to you girls who may think that you aren’t beautiful is that you are. There is always going to be one person in this world who will think you are perfect, and it has to be yourself. You could have guys all over you, or you could have people constantly telling you that you have an amazing body, but if you aren’t happy with the way you look in the mirror, it all means nothing. I have learned; so what if you think I am bigger? So what if I don’t look like the models in the magazines? I get to look in the mirror every day and be proud of who I am, not because of my shape or what size jeans I wear, but because of what is on the inside. You need to learn to not care what other people think about your body image or trust me when I say, you will go through life every day thinking you aren’t good enough when in reality you are more than enough.
