It's that time of the year again -- time for teeth whitening, spray tans and looking/being your absolute best in hopes of recruiting the absolute best. Yes, it's rush week. For someone in a sorority or hoping to get into one, this is one of the most exciting and eventful weeks for you. But, this isn't always true for everyone.
Once upon a time, I was in a sorority. It was a difficult break-up and it's not something I often open up about, but I feel as though my newly found experience as an ex-Greek is something worth sharing in an attempt to keep people open-minded and understanding. Going from being the peppiest most gung-ho sorority girl, to not knowing what the hell you are anymore is not the easiest transition. It is by far one of the hardest changes I've had to deal with, especially during recruitment week.
Being in a sorority is all about unity, sticking together, and being there for each other through thick and thin. But sadly, that doesn't always apply once you're in the outs. I've experienced both good and bad aspects and different treatment since then. Some have still accepted me with open arms and remained unchanged by it, and some now see me as just someone they used to call their sister. It's undeniable that there would be a shift in relationships after such a big change, but the process has surprised me with how life-altering and disheartening it can often times be.
Words can't describe how painful it is to scroll through Instagram and see nothing but recruitment pictures, see my friends post dozens on dozens of Snapchats, or see my little wear the letters I gave her knowing I won't be joining her this year. Seeing girls walk around campus in their jerseys knowing mine is tucked away in the back of my closet and will never see the light of day again makes my heart ache every time. Not being able to be there for my big's last recruitment as a senior crushes me in ways no one could imagine unless they've been there themselves. And if you think it doesn't feel like a gunshot wound to the head every time someone asks me why I'm not at recruitment this year, you're wrong. There are huge parts of me that wish I could have that chapter of my life back, but I've come to accept that everything, in fact, happens for a reason.
My sorority was my entire life in college, and coming back just to rebuild that life entirely from scratch was one of the biggest character-building experiences I could ask for. All of my friends were sorority women, and now suddenly, I no longer fit in that category. I defined myself through my letters, and without them, I felt as though I had nothing. But, I now realize how untrue that was. Throughout this whole experience, the greatest lesson I've learned is how to hold my head up high after falling down. I learned how to take responsibility for my actions, while still realizing that I'm human and I'm far from perfect. It taught me how to distinguish who has genuine sympathy, compassion, and understanding for others -- which were characteristics in friends that I needed the most through all of this. College is all about surrounding yourself with positive people that will lift you up and be there for you through the best and worst times of your life, and through this, I found who those people were.
For the people that don't look at me any differently or don't label me as their "used-to-be sister" -- I am forever grateful. We have been taught that Greek life is about empowering each other, but by looking down on others for not being one of your own or treating people differently during a time of struggle when they've made a human error, you have to ask yourself: How empowering can that be? Everybody screws up, everybody is different, and everybody goes through hard times. Whether you're in a sorority or not, I hope that you make an effort to treat people with love and respect even if they don't share your letters or they make mistakes, because we've all been there. We're all just trying to find our place in life, and I think I'm starting to finally find mine.
