I only knew how to go through college in a sorority. Then things changed this semester when I left. My life was my sorority. If you have ever been a part of Greek life, you know that it can be time consuming, and my planner was always full of events. If I wasn't at a philanthropy event or sisterhood, I was still with my sisters.

But this semester would have to be different. I was so scared of how my life would look now, I almost did not return for this semester. I ended up coming back. It was funny though, because I was more anxious to come back now than I ever was as a freshman.

I wasn't ready to answer the endless questions and have to face the girls I felt like I let down in my sisterhood. And no matter what anyone said, I knew it would be like starting over in so many ways. My friendships with my best friends in chapter were different. They were still my friends but now we had different schedules and free time. You see, the hard part was that no one understands how it feels. And I can't even explain it.

I got a new roommate who is luckily one of my best friends now and welcomed me with open arms into her friend group. I got to start over with things I let slip freshman year because I had such a commitment to Chi O, which was OK at the time, but now I am so grateful that I get to have an opportunity to experience new things with people I never would have.

It's tough when I see my friends at events that I should be or would have been at. Those are memories that I will always regret not being there to experience with my sisters. But I have to remind myself of the memories I do have. Bid day my freshman year was one of my favorite days ever in my life so far. Running into the arms of girls who loved me and chose to be their sister was one of the best feelings I have ever felt. I also have to remind myself there were girls who chose me in the first place and that God had this planned out the whole time.

My time in my sorority was short, but I would relive it in a second. Chi O taught me so much about myself and the kind of woman I want to be and the women I want to surround myself with. And just because I am not an active member does not mean I can't carry all the values and lessons I learned. It only makes them more special to me.

So now I have way too much free time and different schedules than my BFFs. But now I also have a wonderful new friend group, a new love for my university and an unbreakable smile.