Growing up, my parents constantly reminded my sister and I of our self worth and that we didn't need boys to prove our value. They would tell us that we were smart enough to take care of ourselves and that being ourselves would get us farther than trying to change for a guy who only wanted one thing. It was a constant theme in my life, that I didn't need people to like me for me to like myself. But I never really felt convinced.
All through high school, when I watched boys come and go -- whether it was by my doing or theirs -- I couldn't help but think that if I changed something about myself, the relationship would have worked. I would glamorize tweaking my personality a little bit here and there, so I would seem just a little bit more attractive.
It goes against everything I was taught while growing up, but when you know someone likes you, despite how crazy or uncool you think you are, it can change your whole perspective. You can look in the mirror and single out every imperfection, and think, Yeah, that's there, but he's OK with that, so why aren't you? You can laugh at your laugh that you think is super obnoxious, and think, Maybe, it isn't as annoying as it sounds to me. You can have a serious dumb blonde moment, which would normally leave you mortified, and think, He would probably laugh and tell me its OK.
It's not that I have writhed in self-hate, only for one boy to pull me out of the abyss with a mere, You're pretty. It's not that I need him to point out that I'm not that ugly. It's not even that I want him to tell me how amazing I am, so I can see past my flaws. It's simply and purely just nice to be liked.
It's nice to know that someone wants to hang out with you, whether it be a romantic interest or just a girl friend coming over for a spur of the moment craft night or when you want to jam out to Justin Bieber's Christmas album in the car.
It's not about popularity, acceptance, or reputation. It's about confidence. It's about knowing that even though you look at your face in the mirror or at your grades and see something that is less than exciting, there is someone out there who values you anyway because they don't see those things as flaws. They see them as you.
The people who like us teach us to value ourselves in a way that we can't on our own. Yes, it is extremely important to love yourself before getting into a relationship, but isn't it alright to get a little help? Isn't it OK to get a little boost in accepting your various blemishes, whether they be physical or emotional? I think we could all use a little assistance, no matter how much or how little.
So what is it like to be liked? It's eye-opening. It's seeing yourself as more than you did the day before and the day before that and the day before that. It's knowing that even though you might be broken, that it's fine because in that other person's eyes, you're A-OK.