Shy. The character trait that I resent daily. The part of me that gets in the way of everything I want to do. The obstacle that makes me constantly doubt myself and get angry at myself for not overcoming it yet.

Everyone has a different way of perceiving someone who is shy but none of those definitions fit who I am/ who I want to be. When you are a little kid being shy is considered “cute” but once you reach middle school and head into adulthood it is often mistaken for other characteristics. People sometimes think that shyness is always paired with awkwardness, quietness, being a “goody two shoes”, being a pushover, being anti-social, not willing to stand up for self or others, thinking they are better than others, etc. yet those words don’t describe me.

I hate the fact that I’m not outgoing because there is so much more to me than being shy and people often miss that. Chances are I want to talk to you but for me it’s not that simple. Being shy is an immediate reaction for me. It is how I react to new people and new situations. It’s uncomfortable and frustrating but it’s not something that I can change immediately.

Working to improve how I respond to people I don’t know causes me a lot of stress but the outcome will be worth it. Most times you put yourself in a stressful situation only to realize it’s not that bad. Even the worst social encounters eventually end.