In light of the recent Stanford Rape case, I’ve done a lot of critical thinking and analyzing about just exactly what it means to be a woman in America. That phrase causes my body to quake. After sitting in silence and examining what it truly means to be a woman in America, I became enraged. Why in this day and age, are women are still suffering vast injustices?
What it means to be a woman in America: Don’t be a strong woman with a sharp mind. Heaven forbid we have opinions! Being opinionated and bold is associated with being “bitchy” or “bossy.” If a woman even has a hint of an attitude in her voice inflection, it is automatically assumed that it must “be her time of the month.” Our hormones and bodily functions are seen as weapons that men can use to judge us. We are taught that we should be prim and proper, seen and not heard, a pretty piece of arm candy. Are we serious? Women have to use male pennames to have people believe that their thoughts are relevant. People, it’s the 21st Century, can we please get it together? We should be able to live in a world where a woman is not laughed at for having her own ideas about sports, or scorned for being interested in math or science. We silence brilliant young women, instead of encouraging them to reach their fullest potential. “A woman’s first blood does not come from her time of the month, but from biting her tongue.”
What it means to be a woman in America: You will make less money because you have estrogen in your body. Again, I bring up the time, it is 2016 and women are not paid equally to their male counterparts. Women are making $.77 to every $1.00 that men make. The fact that I can Google the wage gap and it tells me the preceding statistic is frightening. We know women are paid less and we continue to pay them less. It’s ludicrous. Men are seen as the “bread winners” of households. They need to “bring home the bacon.” I am convinced that we don’t pay women equally because men see them as lesser. We pay women less to boost the male ego. How could we ever live in a country where the majority of wives made more money than their husbands?! America as we know it may crumble before our very eyes! (Insert excessive eye rolling HERE).
What it means to be a woman in America: Men are allowed to say and do as they please. We are taught at a very young age, “if a boy is mean to you he likes you.” No, just no! This is NOT what we should be teaching our little girls. If a person of ANY gender is mean to you, they are just a jerk, simple as that. When we fill our young daughters’ heads with the idea that a boy must like you if he is mean to you, this is how women end up stuck in abusive relationships. I can assure you a slap across the face does not equate to love.
How do some men think it’s perfectly normal and appropriate to cat call you as you’re walking down the street? “Heyyyy baby, why don’t you bring your fine self over here so I can get a better look at you?” I can’t explain to you how many times I have been honked at or yelled at from a car as I am just trying to go for a run. Men think we should take these rude and sexual remarks as compliments. We shouldn’t. There is nothing normal about yelling inappropriate things at any women. It is not a form of flattery and it is extremely unacceptable and degrading. The last thing I am thinking about while going for a run is how attractive I look. “Heyyyyy you disgusting pig, why don’t you get your sweaty, beer bellied self away from me.” Thanks.
What it means to be a woman in America: You must be in high alert mode at all times. As a woman, you must always be aware of your surroundings. Is that man standing 10 feet away from you a threat? We leave grocery stores and malls with “key fists” ready to use our car keys as weapons in case a man sneaks up behind us. Being a woman in America means checking underneath your car and in your back seats to make sure no one is hiding before you enter your vehicle. It means that even at 20, I think about running from the car in my drive way to my house, because you never know who is lurking. Travel in packs, because a woman walking by herself is the greatest target. Don’t be on your phone and look distracted, that also makes you look like an easy target.
What it means to be a woman in America: How I choose to dress myself, dictates what happens to me. Young women are sent to the principal’s office in high school for exposing their shoulders or collar bones. This is outrageous. I’m sorry but if a boy can’t focus on his algebra test because he can see my bra strap, someone needs to tell him to get a grip. Not only are we setting the precedent that distracting the boys in school is more important than a woman’s education, we are teaching girls that the way they dress is what is perceived of them. Often times in sexual assault cases women are accused of “asking for it,” because they are dressed provocatively. If I am wearing a floor length dress, I am not asking for it. If I am wearing shorts that are to my knees, I am not asking for it. If I wear a skirt that barely covers my behind, I am still not asking for it.
What it means to be a woman in America: If you’re a female athlete, you probably aren’t respected for your talents. Don’t get me wrong, I am the first person to say that JJ Watt is a beautiful human, or how about Mike Trout? The interesting thing between male and female athletes, is female athletes get attention for being attractive, not being good at their sport. Post-game interviews include asking women to do a twirl in their tennis skirt, or are children and a family in your near future? These types of interviews demolish the progress women have made in the athletic world. We are still seen as dainty little flowers instead of bad-ass athletes!
What it means to be a woman in America: It means that our bodies can be violated by male perpetrators, who are then victimized and taken pity on by our judicial system. Just look at the case of Brock Turner, a former Stanford student-athlete. (I could write a whole other article about how angry this case makes me and the disgusting injustices that took place.) He was given a light prison sentence and will be escorted around by “body guards” so he is not harmed by other inmates. Where were Emily Doe’s “body guards” when she was unconscious and viciously violated by Mr. Turner? As a country we wonder why women don’t come forward and report sexual assaults and rape. This is why. Emily Doe had to fight for a whole year, reliving this horrendous act and having her personal life picked at, just to have her perpetrator receive six months in jail (that of which he will only serve three.) Most women will view this as not worth it. This case made a loud and clear statement to women in our country that we will support men before we support you.
What it means to be a woman in America: It is YOUR responsibility to make sure you are not sexually assaulted. We teach our women to protect themselves, instead of teaching our men not to rape. What it means to be a woman in America: You will have to make an imaginary boyfriend to thwart unwanted advances because men respect “I have a boyfriend” rather than just “no.” What it means to be a woman in America: It will not matter how accomplished you are, the fact that you are a woman will always over-shadow your accomplishments. What it means to be a woman in America: Your gender will be used as an insult. No boy wants to be told that “he plays ball like a girl.” What it means to be a woman in America. We will protect our male criminals in jail, but not our innocent women in the street. What it means to be a woman in America: What does it mean to be a woman in America? Are you apart of the problem or the solution?
