Humanity has wrestled with this question since the beginning of time. We may achieve professional or personal successes, or attain developments in society, yet oppression, war, and violence still persist within the most evolved civilizations. On a smaller scale, in our daily lives, we gossip, we blow people off, we ignore, we gripe, we judge. These are hardwired emotions, easily accessible and less complex than practicing empathy. To go against the status quo and defend a tormented individual—be he friend, stranger, acquaintance—is to sacrifice your reputation and invite unrelenting attack. Yet we must stand above the mob mentality so as to preserve compassion and understanding.

Being a good person transcends superficial compliments or random acts of kindness, though these actions are certainly included within the realm of goodness. Being a good person involves genuinely caring about the people who are recipients of the good will. It contains in it the understanding of why you do what you do. Do you adhere to sycophancy in order to elevate your own image in a certain person’s eyes? Or are you kind in order to compensate for that rude remark you made on the subway? Or perhaps, do you wish for karmic benefits? I struggle with these ulterior motives constantly. Is my kindness directed at myself or others?

What I have learned, though, is that good people genuinely believe in others. They compliment people because they believe in their abilities, and they want to make sure that people know their worth. They want to raise people’s spirits for the sake of making them happier. That is not to say that good people are consistently good. We are all guilty of selfishness and deceit for personal gain. But making an effort to see people for who they are, as fundamentally good, can change everything.

We all have days where we yell at whoever is closest, for no reason other than to place our burdens on someone else. We all are quick to judge the girl walking around campus and singing to herself. But what do we gain by judging people? How does gossip enrich our lives? As Michael Jackson advocated, we should focus on the man in the mirror first. Sure, maybe our small misdemeanors, accidental teasing, and oblivious disregard only happens every so often. But every so often is still not acceptable. We should strive to be kinder people each day. We should learn to cast away superfluous judgments in favor of optimistic sentiments. We must realize that we are all humans, and we are all struggling. Some of us just go through life in different ways.

Why choose hatred when you can choose kindness? And while the circle of people with whom you surround yourself may not be detrimentally negative or acrimonious, that does not mean cynicism is not perpetuated. It may be lessening, but it still occurs. This simply indicates that we can all learn to value others’ thoughts and feelings more than we currently do. In a society wrapped up in the pressures of normality and perfection, it may seem difficult to refocus attention on those outside ourselves. In our own race to capture our dreams, we displace our frustrations, or force our own visions and interpretations on how others should act and talk. We see others through the lens of ourselves, a harmful perspective to nurture. In this turbulent world, taking time and effort to be empathetic is crucial. Kindness is an achievement on its own.