People take life for granted every day. Most people forget about the fact that you could wake up one morning and everything can change. I remember this day clearly, when everything changed for me.

I had this friend in high school and she was always extremely happy. She was in my math class and every day she would mess around with me. She would always draw on everything that I had and she was such a free spirit. She was such a fun person to be around all of the time and everyone loved her.

I used to stay after school with her and hang out with her and the person that was my boyfriend at the time, and we had some really deep conversations. She was always doing something silly and that is what everyone loved about her. She used to sneak out of class and sit in the cafeteria and talk to me about anything, everything she talked about always made me laugh. She never seemed sad, she always seemed happy.

One of our friends had went away for a while and we were both so excited for him to come back. We both started crying and it just was such a nice moment to share with someone that both of us had the same feelings towards. I thought I was the only one that was sad because that person had went away for awhile, but I wasn't. It made me feel like I was not alone.

When me and my ex-boyfriend broke up, she was there for me every second through it. Her and I lost touch when I graduated from high school, but she forever had a place in my heart and the memories were never forgotten. We had Facebook inboxed a bit when I got out of high school, but that was the most we stayed in touch.

I remember the day so clearly, I was working and I found out that Julia was on life support, and she was not in good shape. My heart felt like it was breaking into pieces and when I found out it was because she tried to kill herself, I was overcome with the worst emotion I ever felt. I kept thinking is there anything I could have done? Should I have talked to her more? We had drifted apart, but what if we didn't, would there have been anything I could have done. I was overcome with this huge feeling of guilt.

Her funeral? That was the saddest thing I have ever been too. It was so sad because I had attended a funeral with Julia a few years back for the mother of one of my friends. This mother had died from cancer, but it was still upsetting, and I remember Julia going over and talking to my mom. On the way home my mom asked who that funky girl talking to her was and I said her name is Julia, she's pretty cool. I never expected Julia to be the one in the casket, she didn't die from natural causes this is the hardest part. She wanted to pass way. Who pushed her to this point? No one knows and every day it makes me so angry. She was pronounced dead. This was a little over a year ago and I think about her every day.

The hardest thing was all of her friends had a little gathering at the stores she used to hang out at and we were in a circle talking about all the things that we remember about her and her parents showed up. Looking at the faces of parents who lost their daughter to suicide was the hardest thing to watch. Imagine what they were feeling and how much blame they were putting on themselves?People still post on her Facebook wall, and people still talk about her. She is not forgotten, she is missed by so many people.

Please if you are thinking about committing suicide you will affect more people than you would think. People who don't even know you will be affected. This is Samaritans 24-Hour Crisis Hotline (212) 673-3000 if you ever are feeling down you can call this number they will help you. Also you could always Facebook inbox me my name on it is Devin Ellen please come to me if you need help. Suicide is a very serious thing, going through this made me ask my friends if they are ok all the time, and to make sure that they get home safe every night.

I never want to lose anyone to suicide again. Please make sure that if you see one of your friends is really depressed or if you feel like something is very off, tell someone, your friend might be mad, but in the end they will thank you.