Relationships aren't always easy. There are days when you fight and there are days when you cry. Nobody is perfect 100% of the time. So for a relationship to be 100% perfect is unrealistic. All of us women (and men who refuse to admit they see a future with someone) can dream of those fantasy relationships, the ones that are in movies where the guy shows up at the exact right time to sweep the girl off of her feet, or the princesses we would watch as young girls had the princes coming on horses or whatever it was they had to get around to rescue them; but let me just tell you something ladies, those bitches didn't have it any easier than us! We go our whole lives hoping that this one will be "the one"... You don't find him sitting around hoping he'll just show up, sometimes he is on the other side of the country living it large in Beverly Hills or something like that. Sometimes the two of you grow up together and then he moves and the dummy doesn't realize he loves you until he is already half way across the universe. Sometimes things don't work quite like you had planned it out on your Pinterest boards. Wouldn't it be nice, though, just for once that life worked out the way you wanted it to? Long Distance Relationships are (IN MY OWN OPINION) harder than being in a relationship where you live 3 minutes away from the person you are dating.
1. You don't get to see the other person all the time.
When you have a rough day at work or school or just in general, and all you want to do is see your SO and cuddle on the couch in his/her arms and just lay there and let their body be your security blanket, for the time being, you can't. You are your own security blanket. You are the person who will ultimately calm yourself down because sometimes just talking about it doesn't always work. Sometimes you need that physical part of the relationship to make things just a little bit better.
2. Talking on the phone becomes a hassle.
Let's be real, being on the phone ALL THE TIME is unreasonable. Sometimes one person is busy while the other has the day off. Sometimes you both just have those off days, like that time that Jim and Pam had a day where they were playing phone tag with each other which led them to use the world's smallest Bluetooth device so they could talk to each other all day long. (So cute!) But even that is not plausible at times. Depending on your phone plan, you might be charged a ridiculous amount of money when it comes to texting and calling at all/different hours of the day. Skyping is a good way to communicate but how are you supposed to just whip out your laptop in the middle of class, or in the middle of your shift waiting tables to talk to someone? You would be kicked out and fired. Life doesn't get put on hold just because the one time your person can talk is while you are busy.
3. You can't just storm out of an apartment when you guys get into a heated argument.
As dramatic as that is, it's true. You have all the space in the world to take if you guys get into a fight, but to be honest, how much space is too much space? How will anything get resolved? Nobody gets to storm out, you just hang up/put down the phone and ignore the phone calls as they pile in. Nobody can see how hurt the other is, you usually just deal with it alone. You can't kiss the pain away of a broken heart from somebody who is 1700 miles away. To be completely honest, I hate fighting with my SO but if we do fight, I like the dramatics of it, I like being able to slam the door when I go into another room or leave the house because "I need some fresh air and some time to think about it" and then when I come home, were both cooled down enough to apologize and make up. In an LDR this is much much harder to accomplish. Communication is key here! Make sure that you get your full point across and fight it out with each other. As long as it takes. I understand that the distance it hard but the two of you need to know how to talk it out and express emotions, if not, then this won't get any easier.
4. Sometimes the distance is too much.
Sometimes the distance is just too much to handle. There are days when you are going to need each other there in person, not just a quick phone call to say "I'm sorry I can't be there but I am here for you". As great as a gesture as that is, sometimes it is just not good enough. The tears start to flow and nobody knows what to do to make the situation better. It isn't easy to be with someone who you can't see on a consistent basis. The hard days are harder than anybody can ever imagine them being. The easy days are still really hard. And the best days are hard because you know that you are going to have to say goodbye in a little while.
5. Sex.
A subject that may be uncomfortable for some, but very evident in problems when it comes to long distance. "This is why people cheat" -someone who once told me that being in an LDR was a bad idea. Oh ok. Not everybody is a cheater, I hate hearing that people are cheating or even worse hearing that my best friends have been cheated on, and worse, that I was cheated on. But sometimes it is inevitable. Sometimes people just don't have the willpower to say no. A little light sexting never hurt anybody! A sexy text here and there is always a way to let the other know you're just as lonely as they are. Phone sex is another option, and if you are uncomfortable, don't be pressured into it. You shouldn't have to do something that you don't want to, and if that is the case, then maybe rethink the relationship you are in.
In all reality, relationships can get hard at times whether you see your SO every day or once a week every couple of months. The real test is not the distance, it is not the fighting and resolving, it's not the "I love you mores" or the "no you hang up first..". It is the trust and the bond that you make with the other person. No trust=no relationship. Conversations get dull and sometimes you get sad, but if the pros outweigh the cons and you can hang on until the next time you see each other, it makes it that much more special. You wouldn't throw something so special to you to the curb because it became too much to handle, would you?
