I honestly don’t know how to even begin talking about this subject. I’ve dealt with anxiety all of my life, but I never had a label for it.

I used to think that maybe something was wrong with me...that I wasn’t normal. I had no idea that anxiety was a very real thing. I kept it to myself. It felt like I was drowning and no one around me knew it. Finally, I had to tell someone. As it turns out, my mom has anxiety. Friends of mine have anxiety. It wasn’t just me anymore.

Let me go into what it's like to live with anxiety on a daily basis. Most days are good and I don’t show any signs of anxiety and I don’t feel very anxious, but there are days that I feel on edge and anxious for no reason and I can’t seem to shake it off. Crowded places trigger anxiety. Certain people can trigger my anxiety. It can just drop out of the blue sometimes. Most of the time it's mild, but sometimes it gets bad.

I start to feel hot. My chest feels tight. The room shrinks down and it feels like I’m in a box with all eyes on me. It feels like I’m suffocating and can’t catch my breath. My hands feel shaky and there is a lump in the back of my throat that won’t go away no matter how much I swallow. It feels like I'm moving slower than the world around me. I can't focus on anything and it feels like I’m underwater and people are trying to talk to me but I can’t quite make out what they are saying. I feel small and like the world is closing in around me. I worry about what will happen if I don’t do this, or if I don’t hurry and fix this. I feel like crying but there are no tears. I feel clammy to the touch and my face gets red and hot to the touch. People ask what’s wrong and I don’t have an answer. It feels like all I hear is white noise and I have to really focus to hear people talking to me. I feel like I'm going crazy. It feels like everything is wrong when nothing is wrong at all. It feels like impending doom is upon me but there is nothing there to doom me.I feel like a fish out of water.

These are my most severe experiences with anxiety. Panic and anxiety attacks don’t happen too often for me. Most of the time, it just feels like an anxious feeling coupled with a tightness in my chest. It feels like I'm waiting on something to happen (like waiting in line for a scary rollercoaster ride) but nothing happens. You know that feeling when you miss a step when climbing down stairs? It is like that but it lasts longer than a few seconds. I can remedy this most of the time by going somewhere quiet for a minute or two. I can shake it off and I’ll be fine usually, but sometimes, the symptoms get more severe.I feel like I constantly apologize to people in my life who don't have anxiety but I'm lucky to have people around that understand and accept me even if they don't understand what it is like.

Here are some stories about anxiety and panic attacks.

Here is a video that pretty accurately describes a panic/anxiety attack:

To help with anxiety, I’ve found it's good to talk to someone to get my mind off the anxiety as it is happening. Getting away from the situation especially helps. Slowing down and going someplace quiet to walk around really helps. My anxiety can be calmed most of the time by thinking of something else and shifting my focus away from the anxiety. Sometimes, I can’t help it though and my anxiety wins. I have bad days. Don’t we all? But, most of my days are good, even if I do feel anxious. I have to manage my stress and stay organized. I find that this helps. I don’t let my anxiety define me and I don’t let it control me.

Although I've found a label, I won't let that label define me.

Read more about anxiety and symptoms here.