Virginity is an interesting concept, isn’t it? Google defines virginity as, “The state of never having had sexual intercourse.” Google goes on to define sexual intercourse as, “sexual contact between individuals involving penetration, especially the insertion of a man's erect penis into a woman's vagina, typically culminating in orgasm and the ejaculation of semen.” Now quite a few people will look at those definitions and decide, “Yep! That’s about it! End of discussion here.” I, vehemently, disagree.
First of all, virginity itself is a crazy concept as I stated up above. But I can save that for a later conversation. In the meantime, I highly recommend an article written by Espy Vidot on the subject. https://www.theodysseyonline.com/sex-isnt-losing.
WARNING: Content may be sexual in nature.
Right now, I want to tackle the idea of sexual intercourse. Most of us were told that sex is when the penis penetrates the vagina, PIV (Penis In Vagina) sex as I like to call it. To me, this seems like a very narrow way of looking at things. If that is the case, then what about couples that are not male and female? Can two women not have sex since neither of them has a biological penis? What about someone who has been rendered impotent? Can they not have sex either?
Anal sex is usually considered sex by the general populace, yet oral sex is largely pushed into the foreplay category. I don’t like the idea of people restricting themselves, but I know where it can make some uncomfortable. Some people like the idea of staying a virgin until they meet the right person, or until a certain moment in their lives. And while my ideas on virginity may be different, that is still completely fine. If you do not think that a certain act constitutes as sex, then it isn’t sex to you, but that doesn’t mean you can make that decision for other people, including your partner(s). And how I see it, you can partake in one sexual act, but still be a virgin in another. Just like everything else, sex is a wide array of possibilities that extend far beyond what just one person can come up with.
Sex is about the feeling of it, not the act itself. The culminations of those feelings and what they lead to. Foreplay is a part of sex, cuddling is a part of sex, anything that feels to you like a very intimate act that you are performing with your partner, is a part of sex. There are no restrictions to what sex is because it is based on how you feel. I believe that phone sex and sexting are sex as well. Hell, they have it in the name.
So, while some people may tell you that sex is only between a man and a woman, and is when a penis enters a vagina, you can look at them and tell them that their definition does not define you. You decide what sex is to you, because it has different meanings for everyone. Remain open, and go have what you consider sex.
