I’m sure by now, most of you reading this have lost something important… I know that I have. I have lost friends, to both death and circumstance. I have lost family members, both distant and as close to my heart as you can possibly get. I have lost cars, to accidents as well as upgrades. Do you know what I haven’t lost? My virginity. I mean, I’m not a virgin. I have had sex, and it has been fun. And having that sex has been no loss.
Loss is almost always associated with something negative. Think about it. When you lose your keys, you're instantly frustrated. When you lose a relative, you're battling grief. When you lose a friend, there was some sort of fall-out or situation that caused your friendship to cease to exist. Losing something is nearly always a negative point in some way or another. So why do we treat sex like we are losing something?
There is such a terrible stigma when it comes to anything sexual. Sex-positive people are almost always regarded as floozies. Sex can be scary at first, I am not trying to take away from that in any way. I was terrified the first time I had sex, and I even cried afterwards. Part of that was being conditioned to think that having sex equated to losing a part of myself, when in fact, I found a new piece of my personal puzzle. Being sex-negative is hurting our society. There is nothing wrong with keeping your sex life private - not all sex-positive people shout about their sexual endeavors from the rooftops. However, we cannot keep preaching to each other that we lose a piece of who we are when we decide to connect with someone else physically - whether it's a commitment for the rest of your life or one night of fun (and everything in between).
You do not lose anything when you choose to have sex - you do not lose any value. In fact, I think you gain it. You gain value in your experience, your lessons, and your ideas. You are giving yourself more information, more data, and exploring sides of yourself that would otherwise lay dormant. Sex is not a loss, and everybody likes winning.
